Page Summary
livlaughlove - around town, sometime between luca's arrival and the snuggle thread
purifier - hey baby it's garg
sesa - Mid month after the heartspace and chocolate stuff
livlaughlove - at da tavern
cryopathy - a few days after The Fuckening
unheiring - March 10th - Afternoon
unheiring - Zahliya (immediately post Zahliya-quest)
cryopathy - after feral vash attack
aneikonic - during bracelet enchantment
cryopathy - (no subject)
kingincognito - sometime in late may
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around town, sometime between luca's arrival and the snuggle thread
Date: 2024-02-09 04:06 pm (UTC)whatever the manner, surely he'll find the guy eventually. and when he does, he puts a hand up in one-half awkward wave and one-half placating gesture.]
Uh -- hey. Would you hear me out for just a second?
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Date: 2024-02-09 04:20 pm (UTC)the moment he hears heavy footsteps he's alert. Blinking sleep from his eyes as he brings a handful of fire into existence, maybe, but awake nonetheless. The flame disappears the moment he realizes it's Livio in front of him. Strangely enough, he doesn't seem too irritated to see the man. In fact, his brow just... quirks.]
Yes?
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Date: 2024-02-09 06:02 pm (UTC)despite his plea, livio doesn't know what to say for a good moment...]
Right... I wanted to say I'm sorry. I think I... came on strong? Or... forceful, or something.
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Date: 2024-02-11 02:59 am (UTC)You were neither. You were nothing. [He shakes his head.] It needed to be said. My own desires do not trump anyone else's.
[When he smiles it's grim. Hollow.]
If anything, I should thank you for the reminder.
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Date: 2024-02-13 08:07 pm (UTC)You don't have to thank me. I probably could've handled it a lot better. I should've.
[he should avoid talking in circles, though, so...]
... I'm Livio, by the way. I'd say welcome to the Grove, but actually... I'm sorry you got dumped in the Grove. [it sucks here.]
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Date: 2024-02-13 10:12 pm (UTC)[Not to mention a virtue Luca once held beloved to himself. How could he ever hold it against Livio?
In any case, he gives a short nod to him.]
Luca Aurelius. [A beat.] There are... worse places to be.
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Date: 2024-02-16 01:58 am (UTC)Worse? Well, shit, Mr. Aurelius, I'd hate to see that.
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Date: 2024-02-16 02:14 am (UTC)[He forces his shoulders, which had bunched up toward his ears, to relax.]
Perhaps you would. But it's not a competition. Nor do I intend for it to be.
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Date: 2024-02-16 02:16 am (UTC)Right... sorry.
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Date: 2024-02-16 02:38 am (UTC)I was blinded by my own fury. I needed to be grounded and you did that. That is all there is to it.
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Date: 2024-02-16 02:47 am (UTC)Okay. I... guess I'll let you get back to your nap. Sorry to disturb you.
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Date: 2024-02-16 04:45 pm (UTC)[He trails off. They both know he's been caught. All he can really do is give a wry little smirk.]
Never mind. Go well, Livio. And... [A pause.] Thank you, for checking in.
hey baby it's garg
Date: 2024-02-18 07:37 am (UTC)It means the roof of the Church is vacant, and it means there's one less set of watchful eyes over the Grove, though Moder is easily able to handle that in his stead (now that they're friends and not, y'know, trying to kill each other). This is a normal occurrence; Zahliya often slips into the black fog, immune to it as he is, to deal with the monsters waking in the forest. A guardian's work never ends, after all.
This means a couple things for when he comes back. The first is that both of his blades will be slightly broken from overuse, covered in various colours of blood and sticky. The second is that he'll be tired and scratched up, because that's what happens when you go get lost in the woods for a few days. The third... the third is that those glowing green lines in his skin are giving off a black smoke, as Zahliya's body automatically purges the corruption he took in while he was wandering for two days.
He didn't sleep (he doesn't need to, but sometimes it's nice). He didn't eat, again not a necessity, but food tastes good. It's been nothing but combat and having his body fight back against what's been absorbed into his being. This is a normal process for the gargoyle, but by the Stars does it tire him out.
He isn't sure why, but the first thing he does when he gets back to the Grove is drag himself to the tavern. Luca will probably want to know where he's gone, Zahliya thinks, partly unsure why he shouldn't just yell HEY I'M BACK and drag himself to the roof for a while, or go see Add at the clinic and demand some type of painkiller. No, it's Luca he goes to see.
He'll figure out why another time, probably.]
hey garg it's baby
Date: 2024-02-18 07:51 am (UTC)Something in the back of his mind tells him that isn't the case.
The point is, though, that the moment Zahliya disappears, Luca notices. He expects it to only be temporary, assures himself that the gargoyle has only gone for cheese. But when he hasn't reappeared by the evening, Luca knows that something is up.
So he makes a point of checking more frequently than ever. Morning, noon, and at sunset, he makes sure to watch for Zahliya. And with the gargoyle having not been about during his noon check, Luca had simply assumed that this would be yet another day in which he doesn't appear.
Until the doors open, and Zahliya's form is revealed. It's a good thing that the bar is empty, lest Luca have to explain why he first reaches for his sword, then promptly drops it in favor of crossing the room. His hands go out, but stop short of both skin and smoke. He isn't sure if Zahliya is hurting. He doesn't want to make it worse.]
Where - ["have you been," he wants to ask. But it doesn't feel like the right question.] What do you need?
[His heart jackrabbits within his throat. He knows damn well this isn't just about being startled by a suddenly opening door. It may not be the same intensity, but Luca is deeply acquainted with this feeling, one of being on the verge of losing someone important.
He tries to swallow it down in favor of focusing on Zahliya's needs.]
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Date: 2024-02-18 08:19 am (UTC)A place to lie down would be lovely. [He shakes his head, though, forcing a smile.] I was killing monsters in the forest, and as my fire cycles through all of it, it causes strain for me. I'll be fine. I'm only tired.
[He used to be able to spend longer in there. Either his stamina has dropped, or the corruption has worsened, or both.]
Sorry about the floors. [You know, with the various blood droplets all over them.]
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Date: 2024-02-18 04:54 pm (UTC)Upstairs, follow me.
[He leads Zahliya up past the second floor loft and then higher still. He doesn't keep the door to the second stairway locked, merely closed. Said door is opened to allow Zahliya through, up to the third floor "bedroom.
It's relatively sparse up here, little more than two beds pilfered from the inn and stacked high with both pillows and blankets. Like. Good god, there is an unreasonable amount of both on his bed. What the hell, Luca.]
Get comfortable. [He gestures with his head toward the bed. For now, he leaves Zahliya to it, making his way into the bathroom in order to prep a few cleaning rags.]
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Date: 2024-02-18 08:08 pm (UTC)Sigh.
Whenever Luca comes back, that's what Zahliya is doing. You know. Sitting down, which is comfortable enough for him, and working.
Very good job 10/10 following instructions.]
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Date: 2024-02-19 12:10 am (UTC)This isn't the 'lie down' I expected. [His tone is dry, but each dab is light and wary as he begins to work his way up the span of Zahliya's arm.] I would think a stray mess on your blades could wait, but what do I know.
[He reaches his shoulders and shifts his form to the other side. If left undisturbed, the motions will continue in reverse, back down to the fingers on the opposite side.]
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Date: 2024-02-19 04:19 am (UTC)Zahliya's tail thumps over the floorboards. Thumpthumpthump. His swords are down, at least, set aside while he gets cleaned up.]
The metal is already destroyed. I may as well see if I can preserve what I have left.
[Those swords aren't salvageable. He's going to be at the merchant siblings' door in a day or two to see what can be done.]
Besides, I didn't want to get gunk all over your pile of blankets.
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Date: 2024-02-19 03:33 pm (UTC)You're smaller than I am. I can find something for you to wear. [Is his smile on the shy side? Maybe.] And if not, I know how to wash my bedding. And where to steal more from, if it cannot be salvaged.
[He looks to the swords with something akin to pity all the same.]
I would offer to take a look, but it's been years since I have been behind a forge. [Just former almost-knight things.] Nor do I think this village is properly equipped for all of that.
Were they important to you?
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Date: 2024-02-20 01:36 am (UTC)I'm sure there are scratches there. Be gentle.
[As if Luca hasn't been this entire time, he reminds himself.]
And very well. I would only borrow your clothes until my own can be fixed, but I do hope that doesn't bother you. They are still functional. It isn't like they're falling off my body. [Haha...] And no, they were just swords. I've gone through many over the centuries. I just hate it every time.
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Date: 2024-02-20 03:27 am (UTC)I will. I promise.
[The soiled rag is set aside for now, and replaced with something newer and cleaner. With a thumb and forefinger placed feather light against Zahliya's chin, Luca begins to delicately tilt his head this way and that as he dabs at the wounds. His brows are furrowed, concern written into his features even in spite of his best efforts.]
It doesn't bother me. You should be comfortable while you rest. Once we're done here, I'll fetch something.
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Date: 2024-02-20 03:45 am (UTC)You are kind to do so, Luca. I shouldn't have to rely on help, but...
[Were his head not being lovingly cradled, he'd shake it.]
I do these things, normally. I go into the forest and take out threats getting too close to the fog wall. If I come back injured, it's negligible. I simply go onto the roof and rest. ...to be honest, I do not know why I came here. I simply wanted to say "hello" to you after a few days.
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Date: 2024-02-20 03:58 am (UTC)[His voice is almost soft. Bordering on the tender, even. Something wells within his chest that he doesn't care to place, and yet that doesn't keep him from speaking it aloud into the air between them.]
One might think you missed me.
[He... doesn't mind that thought. It's a problem, but one he'll find time to deal with later. Thankfully, he manages to swallow down any of the other words that might try to come out. Someone has to save him from making a fool of himself, right?]
In any case, it's good that you came to me. It isn't the first time I have had to clean a few bloodied wounds. Usually they're just on me.
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Date: 2024-02-20 04:55 pm (UTC)This, though, feels like a different sort of "missing". Like maybe he's less superglued to the past and that the haze in his brain is starting to clear somehow... ah, he's bad with emotions, so he can't really understand it either way. Maybe all the yelling Irene used to do is getting through to him belatedly.]
I would normally go to Add for medical treatments. [Which begs the question: Why not go there now?] Of course, he is a bit pokey with his needles, and I do not like his sleep-drugs he uses. ...I prefer this.
GUESS WHO POSTED THIS AS A NEW TOP LEVEL INSTEAD OF A REPLY.
Date: 2024-02-26 03:54 pm (UTC)(Luca tries not to think about the fact that Zahliya had no idea how gentle Luca would be. Or if he would offer care at all.]
There's no need for sedation in this case, at least. [Especially with the way Zahliya's body seems to be burning away everything else. It only takes a few more dabs to thoroughly cleanse his face, too. Certainly not worth the fuss Add might have kicked up.]
There. If you want to use the washroom to strip down, go ahead. I can grab some clothes while you're at it.
SCREAMS LAUGHING I SEE
Date: 2024-02-26 05:52 pm (UTC)[Z...Zahliya you can't just make that claim, you definitely do not have normal anatomy can we help you
Anyway, he stands and stretches and ow that was a mistake, some of the worse cuts on his side are protesting that motion, but he'll be fine. That internal furnace of his will fix him within the next day or two, theoretically.]
I'll be back, then.
[To the washroom he goes, though, to strip down and await further clothing. Do not let the garg walk around naked.]
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Date: 2024-02-27 01:04 am (UTC)Let's not make assumptions, yes?
[He waits for Zahliya to retreat behind closed doors, before digging out an extra shirt and a pair of trousers. Once he's better acclimated, he might take the time to ask Heimr for some better clothes that actually came from home, but that was something that could be dealt with later. For now, he was content with the basic, loose fitting clothing he had dug up.
(And if he just so happens to pick up the nice, burgundy one that looks near to his hair, well... surely that was just coincidence.)
Satisfied with his selections knocks on the door. The clothing his held off to the side, while Luca glances the other way. He's a very polite young man, thank you.]
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Date: 2024-02-27 01:32 am (UTC)When the door opens, he's decent, so Luca won't have to turn away and Zahliya can theoretically shut his mouth and not make things super awkward. Probably. In either case, his hair is down, and he's brushing out the waves with his fingers.]
These will do. Thank you, Luca.
[Tail swish.]
I'm glad I came here.
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Date: 2024-02-27 01:58 am (UTC)Instead, he opens his stupid mouth, letting all those halting and stammering words spill out at will.]
I am glad you are here as well. If only because it means you are not being poked and prodded elsewhere. [He really, really doesn't want to deal with this Add guy, he's realizing.
He moves past Zahliya, heading toward the bed. He peels away one single blanket and a pillow for himself, then moves to set up a little nest for himself on the floor.]
The bed is all yours. I have slept far worse places than the floor.
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Date: 2024-02-27 02:03 am (UTC)Why are you sleeping on the floor? [explain to him your strange human habits.] You do realise I sleep on a roof every night, yes?
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Date: 2024-02-27 02:05 am (UTC)[Petulant and matter of fact as can be.]
Get comfortable. I will not be arguing this.
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Date: 2024-02-27 02:10 am (UTC)[......and then he just. Gets into the bed. Gets under the mass of blankets. Rolls around... scoots over... looks at Luca.]
There is room for you. See?
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Date: 2024-02-27 02:20 am (UTC)[Hang on, what -]
You... want me to... Sleep with you?
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Date: 2024-02-27 02:38 am (UTC)Not if you're going to make a big deal out of it!! [what] I thought it may be nice for neither of us to have to sleep on the floor! Have you never hugged someone in your life?
[ZAHLIYA, YOU'RE TERRIFIED OF TOUCH. WHAT???]
I just— perhaps I enjoy having you around and missed you for two days! [what are we fucking arguing about]
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Date: 2024-02-27 02:45 am (UTC)[What is he supposed to say to that! Nothing, apparently. He just plops down onto his pseudo nest on the floor, arms crossed over his chest and chin tipped toward the sky. A muscle within his jaw works, the tension evident in his frame even as he tries to work through it.]
I was never... around people like that back home. [His words come out slow, almost through gritted teeth.] And over the last few years, companionship has been far less... compassionate.
[His arms finally loosen, falling down into his lap.]
But. I suppose I can admit it was... quiet without you around.
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Date: 2024-02-27 03:13 am (UTC)[Well, Zahliya, you stab anything that wanders out of the fog, so...]
...sorry, Lu. [Oh, we have a nickname now.] I don't mean to yell or assume. But I do think it would be nice if you were to be up here with me. ...that's all. You don't have to, of course.
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Date: 2024-02-27 03:21 am (UTC)[Zahliya only sang to him once, but he finds himself humming the melody without thinking when he works.]
I'm sorry too. [And as if to prove it, he picks up his little nest and... pitter-patters over to the bed. The blankets are set down, before he promptly - turns his back to Zahliya.]
Look away. Just for a moment.
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Date: 2024-02-27 03:24 am (UTC)Okay. I'm looking away.
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Date: 2024-02-27 03:31 am (UTC)He quickly unbuttons his shirt and pulls the binding strip of fabric over his chest off. A deep breath follows, loosening aching muscle and allowing relief to the bones trapped beneath. He tucks errant strip back beneath the bed before turning back once more. He makes quick work of the buttons there before allowing his shoulders to relax.]
Okay. You're good.
[The shirt is loose enough, at least, that he doesn't feel that any differences are immediately obvious. It should, at the very least, buy him time to get tucked into the miles of blankets that would otherwise cover his torso.]
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Date: 2024-02-27 03:37 am (UTC)Hello. [...why is that the first thing out of his mouth, he wonders. What's wrong with him.] Mm... you aren't going to find the green lights in my skin difficult to sleep around, are you?
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Date: 2024-02-27 04:12 am (UTC)Hi. [And then a laugh. He shakes his head as the sound trickles out, throwing the noise this way and that.]
Not so long as you do not mind me waking up in flames in the middle of the night, speaking in tongues. [A pause, and then a second bout of laughter.] That... will not actually happen. Not unless something attacks us.
But no. It will not keep me up.
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Date: 2024-02-29 09:29 pm (UTC)I am immune to flame. [He is rocks.] If we are attacked all the way up here, I would be shocked, considering the number of creatures I eliminated. Any stragglers wandering through will be caught by Moder.
[Or any number of the other freaks here with wild powers. Mizuki tends to eat them, for example.]
...in the meanwhile, consider me something of a nightlight. If it does keep you awake, bury me under the blankets. I'm sure that will fix it.
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Date: 2024-03-01 01:55 am (UTC)Sounds as if I have nothing to worry about. [It's more relieving than he lets on to know that Zahliya won't be singed if Luca does manage to lose control. It's not something that happens often, generally in the wake of him dying more than anything.]
At least I know I won't bash my toes in if I have to fumble around in the middle of the night. [Curse those midnight toilet runs.
Anyway... is he snuggling just that little bit closer? Maybe.]
Good night, Zahliya.
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Date: 2024-03-02 10:21 pm (UTC)He can't figure it out. Zahliya is not, by nature, a nervous person, and yet... Luca makes him feel light, like he could float off at any moment. Instinct tells him to run off. Something makes him stay.
Guh. He'll think about it in the morning.]
Goodnight, Lu. Wake me if you need something.
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Date: 2024-03-03 01:11 am (UTC)It feels nice, he won't deny that. The night feels far less oppressive when he has someone beside him. And while Zahliya's presence won't diminish the voice squawking within the back of his mind, it makes it just that little bit more bearable, at least until he falls asleep.
There are, ultimately, worse things to have to "suffer."]
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Date: 2024-03-04 07:09 pm (UTC)God, he's never actually been this close to another person for longer than fifteen minutes before. He and Mizuki hugged once, yes, and that was fine because Mizuki was severely depressed and needed it and Zahliya didn't exactly mind. This is much, much different.
He feels weird. Fluttery, light. Nervous. Terrified? His skin is burning in the places Luca's hands rest. Is he feverish? Dying? Fuck. What the fuck.
Fight or flight kicks in, and normally Zahliya's instincts go directly to fight, but this time... this time, they're telling him to flee out the window, which he can't actually jump out. He's going to need to sneak down the stairs. Oh God what if Luca wakes up...
Zahliya slowly extracts himself from the bed, trying not to wake Luca up. When he doesn't immediately wake, the gargoyle takes off the borrowed clothing, switches back to his own currently-ruined ones, grabs his broken blades, and quickly and quietly-ish (hooves clack) skedaddles toward the door.
It feels bad. He feels bad. But something is wrong with him, and he can't figure it out, and it's better if he goes and dunks himself in the river to try to get rid of the gross feelings rather than stays up here with Luca where he'll catch onto Zahliya's mental state.
Maybe they'll see each other later.]
Mid month after the heartspace and chocolate stuff
Date: 2024-02-26 04:00 pm (UTC)He wouldn’t exactly call it bad, persay. Conflicted, though? Absolutely. He’s been acting out of sorts. He’s been behaving rashly, impulsively…he’s been letting his gut guide his actions, and though they feel right in the moment (isn’t that what matters?), after the fact he’s bombarded with his logical mind reminding him of the snake pit he’s chosen to lay in.
Elliot. Passenger, as everyone else knows him. He admitted to him his complicated feelings, and somehow that turned into an unplanned tryst. Said tryst lead to where they are now, with Elliot living in his room (invited) and wearing a pearl ring (made by Sesa). Like. What is he doing here, exactly? Fraternizing!?
He decides to sneak off to the bar in the evening in the hopes that a few drinks might calm his nerves. They certainly won’t clear his head, at any rate. And whether or not Luca is already there, he’ll find the Vouivre slumped over one edge of the bar. He could be sitting there drunk, but in reality he’s just moaning quietly to himself for no reason other than because it’s better than moaning quietly to himself in his room.
He’s having a real one.]
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Date: 2024-02-26 04:17 pm (UTC)Unfortunately for Luca, the spirit gives him a brief wink, before dissipating just as quick. Great.
Stepping behind the bar, Luca glances to the counter to establish... whatever the hell his patron has been drinking, then turns back once more. Another shot is poured and slid over to the man occupying his space. One glance at the fiery red hair tells him who he's dealing with, which... only makes matters worse. Of course it would be the person he cuddled and flirted with.
He can practically hear the phoenix snickering at the back of his mind.]
How long are you planning on moping about, then?
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Date: 2024-03-04 02:29 am (UTC)Until the spirits kick in, or I die. Whichever comes first.
[Okay dramatic ass]
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Date: 2024-03-04 04:08 pm (UTC)[He glances from Sesa to the alcohol shelf, then goes to fetch a stepstool. A fresh bottle is retrieved from one of the upper shelves, then cracked open. He pours out one, two, three shots of something that smells vaguely cinnamon-y, then sets them all in front of Sesa.]
Drink up, then.
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Date: 2024-03-05 09:20 pm (UTC)Sesa doesn't even question what he's been served. He just grabs one of the glasses and immediately downs it-
Now, Sesa is Sargonian. He's used to all manner of burning, spicy things. But even THIS is a lot without being prepared for it, and because of that he quickly brings up a fist and coughs into it as it burns all the way down. It seems to settle in his chest and fester there too, until it eventually peters out and just leaves him feeling warm.]
W-...what was that, exactly?
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Date: 2024-03-06 12:18 am (UTC)Mm. I thought you'd be able to handle that better.
[He reaches for one of the shot glasses, twisting it around in his fingers without sloshing the liquid.]
Where I'm from, we call it Phoenix Fire. Whiskey, mixed with a healthy amount of cinnamon. [The glass is set back down.] Do you want the rest of these, or am I going to have to waste it all?
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Date: 2024-03-08 07:55 pm (UTC)He makes a face at Luca's gentle ribbing, yet is already- perhaps unwisely- reaching for a second shot glass.]
I drank it, did I not?
[He huffs, and if he were Draco, there would be smoke coming from his nostrils.]
I can drink them just fine, thank you. I would appreciate it if you allowed me this much.
[He's already slurring his words a bit. It'll probably be fine.]
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Date: 2024-03-09 03:52 am (UTC)But whatever. At least he's getting paid.]
Just keep the "coin" coming.
[And he probably should leave it at that. But if Sesa is gonna linger, bringing down the general atmosphere, Luca will probably let curiosity get the better of him.]
So. What's the big deal?
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Date: 2024-03-10 09:32 pm (UTC)[That is the big deal.]
I feel so full, yet...conflicted. I am but a walking contradiction.
[his head thunks onto the table again.]
What am I doing? Why am I like this? What am I thinking? He would never...ugh.
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Date: 2024-03-10 10:26 pm (UTC)Luca wants nothing more than to scream.]
Let me guess. Starcrossed lovers that would absolutely never work. Opposite sides of some sort of conflict?
[Absolutely deadpan. He's heard a story like this in every town he's been to.]
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Date: 2024-03-10 10:32 pm (UTC)Nah Luca has a rock bf he's fine-]
Starcrossed? Hardly.
[He turns his head a little, so his cheek is resting on the bar instead of his forehead.]
I...despise him. He is everything I stand against. He wants me to act in ways I know that I would regret...
[...]
But yet- [Flopping dramatically to one side] -I cannot cast him from my mind. I cannot help but to fall for him every time he opens his mouth, like a...a....seductive temptress.
[What does this even mean]
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Date: 2024-03-10 10:41 pm (UTC)Yeah, his love life is great. And he is definitely not at all bothered by the familiarity of the situation that Sesa describes.
His tone isn't exactly softer when he speaks again, but he does seem distinctly less dismissive.]
Some men are infuriatingly charming, even when you know better.
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Date: 2024-03-10 10:44 pm (UTC)Sesa squints, turning his head even further so he can try to look at Luca without lifting his torso off the bar.]
You speak as if you have experience.
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Date: 2024-03-10 10:48 pm (UTC)[Luca isn't a very big drinker. Nevertheless, he does find a very particular bottle of wine from the bar and pours it for himself. He doesn't drink it yet, just swirls the liquid in a clear glass.]
There was a man I met in my travels. Though he was not involved, his organization was involved in a tragedy that befell my family. Though we did not know it when we first met... [He shrugs.] Sometime later, the truth of both of our identities came out. Yet despite knowing what monstrosity he and his cohort were capable of, I continued to gravitate toward him. And he continued to encourage it.
[Finally, he takes a long pull from his glass. After he swallows, he lets out a long suffering sigh.]
Men, right?
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Date: 2024-03-10 11:04 pm (UTC)[Sesa huffs, in complete agreement on that front.
He will also sit up and down another one of those shots, against his better judgement. He is going to be the most hung over of his LIFE come tomorrow morning.]
That does sound much like what I am dealing with...I just.
[He runs a hand over his face, pressing his fingers into the bridge of his nose.]
I don't know what I'm doing. I just know I am incapable of stopping as I am.
[He gave him a RING, Luca.]
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Date: 2024-03-10 11:31 pm (UTC)If you are incapable of stopping, then do you believe he is capable of changing?
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Date: 2024-03-11 12:19 am (UTC)I...don't know. I do not truly believe him to be a wholly cruel person, it is just that...the things he has done are cruel, and reprehensible. I should not be willing to accept much less forgive such things, especially when they go so starkly against my own worldview, but...
[Sesa groans, slumping forward on his barstool again.]
Perhaps there is just something wrong with me.
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Date: 2024-03-11 12:25 am (UTC)[Sorry, Sesa.]
If there is a part of you that craves the violence he brings, it probably speaks to your character as well. [A shrug.] Or, perhaps you are a hopeless optimist, hoping that you can redeem someone that far gone.
Either way, I don't envy you.
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Date: 2024-03-11 12:34 am (UTC)[No, it's more like...]
I seek revenge. [ah] Revenge...for my brother's death. And- [For some reason, he can't bring himself to say Elliot's name outright, even though everyone with eyeballs would know who he's talking about.] -the object of my desire...and my deepest affections, I believe, holds the key to obtaining it. He wants to help me.
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Date: 2024-03-11 12:41 am (UTC)So. You would bed the devil in the hopes of attaining your more selfish and destructive desires. [He takes another sip of his wine.] In that case, yes, there is something wrong with you. But it is not so uncommon.
Craving vengeance is — forgive the phrasing, all things considered — very human.
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Date: 2024-03-11 12:52 am (UTC)[He stares down into the glass of half-drunk liquor in front of him.]
I should be indifferent. My goals should be all that matter to me. Yet...seeing his smile means just as much, if not more.
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Date: 2024-03-11 12:56 am (UTC)Quite the storybook romance you've pulled yourself into. Now all you need to do is convince your lover the error of his ways and skip off into the sunset.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 01:08 am (UTC)This is a serious issue I am having, you know.
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Date: 2024-03-11 01:22 am (UTC)[Sorry, Sesa.]
There is no happy ending here. There is no perfect solution. This is what happens when you seek to bloody your hands in the search for revenge. Especially when you get tied up with another person. I would know. [He shakes his head.] But even if there were an elegant solution to be found, it wouldn't be located at the bottom of a shot glass.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 01:27 am (UTC)[He sighs heavily, swirling the contents of the last glass silently.]
But I did think it would help me feel less...insane.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 01:40 am (UTC)[He finishes his glass off.]
If you truly want my judgement in this matter, I'll give you this. Good people do bad things. Bad people do good things. Your attractions and your quest might indicate a certain inclination, but there is more to you than that. Certainly more than a surly bartender with his own issues would be able to diagnose.
The point is, don't listen to me.
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Date: 2024-03-11 01:51 am (UTC)Well...good advice or no, I do appreciate you being willing to lend a listening ear. I merely came here to drink my sorrows away, so it wasn't something I was expecting.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 01:57 am (UTC)[And if Sesa is just playing with his drink, Luca might reach over to try and steal it. He's not the biggest fan but... the vouivre probably doesn't need more.]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 02:00 am (UTC)...but, Sesa will let him take it actually. He really does not need more he's drank SO much.]
I mean...you could have. But I appreciate it that you didn't...
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 02:08 am (UTC)Maybe you are a good man.
[Luca downs the shot and immediately resists the urge to gag.]
With terrible taste.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 02:21 am (UTC)[He motions vaguely to wherever the Spirit has gotten off to.]
I make a few requests here and there, but He is the one that does the most of it.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 02:23 am (UTC)[Sesa smirks, clearly having a hard time sitting up straight now so he's just kinda flopped in his seat, don't mind him.]
Doesn't that save you from having to do a lot of extra work yourself?
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Date: 2024-03-11 02:29 am (UTC)The busy work keeps my mind off of things.
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Date: 2024-03-11 02:40 am (UTC)[Luca included.]
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Date: 2024-03-11 02:45 am (UTC)[They're both fucking arguably toxic people after trying to use them for their self-gain.
Well. Luca isn't anymore. But he would if he could!]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 02:51 am (UTC)Well...I wouldn't say our similarities make it so that we are not special. Just that we can relate. Which isn't such a bad thing.
Though, I wouldn't wish my particular romantic troubles on anyone...I apologize.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 03:08 am (UTC)[He tries his best to hide a smile, one of those wide ones that makes his face look more boyish than anything. Embarrassing.]
I, at least, have the advantage of being worlds away from my paramour. I'm afraid you, however, are stuck.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 03:38 am (UTC)[Sesa sighs heavily. He should probably be drinking water, he's getting a headache...]
I fear I am too far gone at this point anyway. I am...helplessly enamored with him. I cannot help myself.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 03:56 am (UTC)Is this what I have to look forward to? Your endless drivel about some man you can't decide to like?
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Date: 2024-03-11 04:05 am (UTC)It isn't as if I have anyone else to talk to!
[FLOPS down dramatically once again]
Gnosis wouldn't understand, he's a happily married man...and I wouldn't dare bother Mizuki about it, he has enough on his plate. [HE'S A THERAPIST] Mr. Silverash...he makes me nervous enough as it is in this regard.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:08 am (UTC)And so you have chosen me, a near stranger.
[For some reason, that makes him laugh. Not even in a cruel manner, just... grimly amused at his circumstances.]
Why not?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:15 am (UTC)[Luca briefly contemplates responding. Instead, his lips gnash together and he quickly turns from Sesa, though not before revealing the faint, coppery flush against his cheeks. He pretends to busy himself with a set of bottles for a time.
If he's lucky, Sesa will go away. And when that inevitably fails...]
You would be better off forgetting all about that.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:29 am (UTC)...and I still meant everything I told you, anyway.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 05:02 am (UTC)I only hope the others have a similar view point.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 05:11 am (UTC)[He shrugs one shoulder, tracing his claw along the rim of a now-empty glass.]
I just feel that we would all be better off as a collective. There are so few of us as it is, and it is us against this world. Never mind the fact that we all share the common trait of having lived a past live on these very grounds.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-12 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-12 11:50 pm (UTC)[But it's worth remembering. Perhaps he is biased, given how much of his own past he's both seen and experienced at this point.]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-13 03:45 am (UTC)[It also might be terrible. He tries not to think about it either way.]
But that's besides the point. I'm going to need to put up a sign that says "no heavy conversation" beyond these walls. [He's joking. Probably.] How's your head?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 12:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-15 12:10 am (UTC)Stay there.
[He turns away, grabbing a spare glass. It's filled with some water and pushed over.]
Drink.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-17 08:37 pm (UTC)[He'll just take that water and start sipping at it, slowly.]
Perhaps this will be my spirit of choice for a while.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-21 12:10 am (UTC)[He makes a mildly dissatisfied noise.]
It has its uses when you wish to forget, but beyond that... alcohol has never been my drink of choice.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-21 11:24 pm (UTC)[Siiiip]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-24 02:10 am (UTC)And when that fails... wine from home. It's a popular enough import, if a bit more difficult to find in the far reaches of home.
I am still trying to find the closest approximation to it here.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-24 10:29 pm (UTC)[He suggests, gesturing with his water glass.]
Then you wouldn't have to worry about an approximation. It would be the real thing!
no subject
Date: 2024-03-26 07:03 pm (UTC)Don't you have your own things to worry about? Your headache is going to be terrible if you do not drink more.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-26 10:26 pm (UTC)Yes yes, of course. I'll make sure I'm nice and sobered up before I try to hobble back to the lab.
[...]
Thank you, Luca.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-27 05:45 pm (UTC)It's my job. You need not thank me for it.
[He sets to cleaning up the used glasses, though occasionally his gaze flicks upward to confirm that Sesa isn't wobbling too much as he leaves.]
at da tavern
Date: 2024-03-03 05:34 am (UTC)he's... curious, anyway. he stops by one day after working on the school, a bit dirty and sawdusty and sweaty, but, well, stuff like that isn't really a huge deal where he's from, so... sorry to luca and any patrons near where livio sits at the bar.
he just stares behind the counter without saying anything. he doesn't know what the fuck most of the bottles are.]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-03 05:49 am (UTC)If ever at all.
Truthfully, he has half of a mind to duck back into the storeroom to let his ghostly co-proprietor handle this mess but... Unfortunately, he's pretty sure he's been spotted by now. And it isn't as if his spirit bartender can offer advice.]
You look lost.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-03 06:00 am (UTC)well. they did say they would both probably act a little weird after the fact. it shouldn't come as a surprise.
maybe livio should just run damage control ahead of time.]
... Think I already owe you another apology, Mr. Aurelius.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-03 06:09 am (UTC)I think the feeling is mutual.
[He tries to crack a smile. Swears he sees the spirit out of the corner of his eye laughing.]
How about a drink on the house. To make up for it all.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-03 06:16 am (UTC)And anyway, I didn't come for free stuff. Came to offer my shells in exchange for goods 'n services. Y'know, normal, uh, customer stuff.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-03 06:21 am (UTC)[Luca looks him up and down once more, before turning around. He pours something of a lighter color, before turning back. It's rife with bubbles. If he bothers to taste it, he'll find the sweet taste of a moscato.]
One free drink between friends. Consider it me just trying to figure out your tastes, if you wish.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-03 06:21 pm (UTC)[of course livio tastes it! it would be stupid rude not to. he's just making a mental note to add the price of it to his tip at the end of his evening out, that's all.
his brows lift as he sips, thinks on it, sips again. he's laughing quietly as he sets the glass back down for now.]
That's a hell of a lot better than straight whiskey.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-04 04:05 pm (UTC)[He just might side-eye them along the way.]
If I must drink, I prefer much sweeter profiles like this. Though we do have a selection of drier palates, if that interests you.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-04 08:36 pm (UTC)This the kinda work you're used to?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-05 01:33 am (UTC)[He motions to the pot of stew currently bubbling away.]
There's food to be had. And non-alcoholic beverages can be provided as well. I'm not particular.
[At Livio's question, Luca simply shrugs. His gaze finally flicks away.]
It was the easiest work to pick up on the road. I knew my way around labels and bottles enough to be a dab hand where necessary. A few nights of work would get me to the next town, at least.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-05 02:27 am (UTC)The travelin' sort, huh? Me, too.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-05 02:41 am (UTC)[At least you're not a Vouivre, half-drunk and bemoaning his weird love life. That'd just be ridiculous.]
Indeed. I left home eight years ago, and have yet to return. [He chuckles, all without a single drop of humor.] Though I suppose this is the furthest I have ever been.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-05 02:50 am (UTC)You do it 'cuz you like it, or...?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-05 03:11 am (UTC)[There are also the spare bounties he picks up when he needs, but that's not exactly a topic for pleasant company. Not that he thinks someone like Livio would clutch his pearls over the topic. Warm as his exterior might be, you don't get to be as big and as broad as a man like that without having won a few fights. Never mind the weapons at his sides.]
Any thoughts on what you would like to try next?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-05 03:17 am (UTC)[he gets that, at least. especially now.
... but this feels kind of miserable. he didn't come here to make luca feel bad.]
... Sorry. Uh, somethin' harder, maybe? Never even gotten buzzy before. Is that the right word?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-05 05:11 am (UTC)[He shakes his head and turns back to the shelves. It's easier to compose himself when he's pretending to be busy.]
What parts do you like about whiskey? What do you not like?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-05 05:28 am (UTC)Small mercies, I guess.
[he takes a moment to think on that. it's hard to put taste to words.]
... I'm not sure. It just tastes like burning, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 12:04 am (UTC)[And with that in mind, Luca shuffles around until he pulls down a bottle of gin. He pours some of it into a tumbler, then pushes it over.]
Let me know what you think.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 12:17 am (UTC)and chokes. and gasps. and pants a little.]
Oh, jeez, that's -- Christ.
[...]
Well. It sure does taste... clean. [luca. did you actually feed him disinfectant?]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 12:35 am (UTC)[But didn't you just - Never mind.
He pours another tumbler of Gin. This time, though, he mixes it with some sort of greenish colored liquid, as well as a second bottle of liquor that smells far more sweet and floral. Finally, a more syrupy mixture is added in, before all parts are mixed together.
He passes this one over as well.]
Try this, instead.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 01:04 am (UTC)maybe he eyes the cocktail for a moment before trying it, as well. after a moment, his brows raise.]
Oh. This one's nice, actually. What's that other stuff you put in it?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 02:44 am (UTC)[He motions to the drink.]
There you have it.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 05:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 11:26 pm (UTC)I don't... know if that's how it should taste but. [Shaking his head.] Would you like something else to try?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 11:30 pm (UTC)Sure!
[still happily sipping on this, in the meantime.]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 11:49 pm (UTC)Anyway, he tracks down a carafe of orange colored juice. It's poured into a glass just before Luca turns his back to grab a corked bottle.]
Cover your ears. [It's the only warning Livio gets before he removes the cap. A rather large pop follows, along with an excessive amount of fizz siphoning out.]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 11:54 pm (UTC)he very much does not cover his ears, which... they both probably regret, considering he jumps and yelps at the pop. actually, livio himself just laughs after the fact.]
Shit -- aha, y'sure did warn me though!
no subject
Date: 2024-03-08 12:56 am (UTC)Nothing bothers you, hmm?
[He pours the champagne into the long-stemmed glass with juice, then stirs it together.]
For later.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-08 02:11 am (UTC)[did luca say "for later?" he's already reaching to sippy that one. it's pretty.]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-09 03:48 am (UTC)[He gives a shrug. He's not complaining that Livio is shopping around for his tastes. Whatever keeps him pleased.]
a few days after The Fuckening
Date: 2024-03-10 10:24 pm (UTC)so they are pounding on the locked tavern door, in the middle of the day, under the guise of a drunkard run dry. which... is also technically true, but still.]
Hey! Open up, you lazy excuse of a barkeep! You've got customers with good shells to spend!
no subject
Date: 2024-03-10 10:38 pm (UTC)The steps don't retreat, but the door doesn't open just yet. Either someone is put off by her yelling, or he just doesn't want to talk either. Or both.
Hm... ]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-10 11:05 pm (UTC)I know you're still there, Luca. Open the beastsdamned door.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-10 11:35 pm (UTC)The door opens slowly. Luca squints out into the daylight, briefly revealing red and swollen eyes. He makes a face, then shrinks away before they can get too good of a look at him.]
Come in.
[He doesn't hesitate to close and lock the door behind them.]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 12:18 am (UTC)and while he locks the door, they look around the tavern suspiciously, as if expecting to find an explanation right there in the room, or perhaps to discover that luca had let in the entire town except for his sister.
no, they couldn't assume something that ridiculous. the moment the lock clicks, and luca is technically safe from the outside, they glance sideways at him.]
What's going on with you, Luc?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 12:24 am (UTC)Rather than trying to put on a brave face and muster the strength, he simply turns away from her.]
I don't know what you are talking about.
[Is that quiver in his voice? Maybe.]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 12:29 am (UTC)Don't take me for a fool. [kiera does feel slightly bad about how icily they snap, so their next sentence is spoken softer.] I didn't come here to drink.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 12:34 am (UTC)Not telling the truth, on the other hand, will only mean that she'll continue to grate away at him. Trying to tell Kiera Aurelius — Canorus, he mentally corrects — to back down was a fool's effort. He'd learned that years ago.]
The stone guardian was with me the other night. He was meant to be watching over the others, and instead...
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 01:08 am (UTC)kiera, of all people, can put two and two together. why luca saddled her with as much booze as she could carry and closed early. that, paired with the knowledge that zahliya was with him at the time... well.]
Don't tell me you think it's your fault.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 01:12 am (UTC)[His voice cracks at the very end, and he finds himself lifting a hand to frantically wipe at his eyes.]
It keeps happening, Kiera. Every where I go.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 02:17 am (UTC)alright, maybe she can't stop the grimace. but it may be more at the knowledge of exactly how terrible luca feels about all this.]
The guardians have their own will, don't they? It isn't like you kept him hostage. And in the end, the only ones at fault are the people who started the whole thing.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 02:23 am (UTC)[Luca picks a bad time to look up at them. Naturally he assumes the grimace is Kiera's disdain for the subject. It leaves him to do his best to tighten up his voice. He sounds like a sniveling toddler rather than a man of his age.]
Forget I said anything.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 02:56 am (UTC)[part of them wishes they were actually good at navigating emotional vulnerability. for luca's sake. they don't know what the hell they're supposed to say, and every move they make or word they speak only seems to make it worse.]
Beating yourself won't heal anyone's wounds, Luca.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 03:07 am (UTC)[You is what he wants to say, but the words die on his lips. It's the first time they've had a lengthy conversation. Maybe... he doesn't want to ruin it by pushing her away.]
It just feels like before. Waking up to ruin. To everything having changed. And for what - [His hand lifts, clutching at the space above his chest.] There was no reason for it. Not for Father, and not for the Saint.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 03:32 am (UTC)and of course, that leads kiera down the same path.
how they should have picked up on augustus acting off. how they should have seen all of the butterflies. how they should have entered the council chamber ten seconds earlier.
... how they saw the start of the book burning and chose to drag an armful of alcohol into the inn. chose to make themself useless with drink.
rather than admit any of it, of course, they scoff and turn away.]
Half of the Grove told him not to do it. Stop blaming yourself that someone else reaped what he sowed.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 03:37 am (UTC)So much for his attempt to not push them away.]
Of course. You're right. [His tone has flattened once more. His posture is stiff.] And now that you have confirmed my well-being, you can leave.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 03:47 am (UTC)What are you talking about? Clearly, you're not well.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 03:54 am (UTC)You would rather offer me platitudes than comfort. You would rather cover your ears and not listen to what I have to say.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:27 am (UTC)I've been trying. Do you think I'm secretly blaming you, myself? If you have something you want to tell me, you should actually tell me instead of trying to force me out the door.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:31 am (UTC)[Luca's teeth snap together hard enough to make an audible noise. He'd wince, if his expression weren't already shuttered. Still, there's a visible twitch as his jaw tenses and untenses. He's considering it, at least?
It just doesn't go far enough.]
You of all people know how to read between the lines. If you have somehow lost that ability in the years we've been apart, that is not my fault. [He heads toward the bar. He's polished every glass in the building at least twice, but what's wrong with a third?] I told you what was wrong. You were the one that chose not to pursue it.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:39 am (UTC)You're not any damn good at riddles, Luca. Why don't you run it by me again, or just speak plainly?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:41 am (UTC)Neither Father, nor the priest had to die. There was no need.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:46 am (UTC)kiera stares silently at luca for a long while. they aren't shocked or angry. maybe they once were, but not anymore. they know he hasn't loved them for years.]
Father, I understand. But why, pray tell, do you blame me for the bonfire?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:53 am (UTC)I knew you were a lush, but I did not expect you drank yourself to the point of being stupid. [He marches toward her, planting a hand on her chest and shoving as hard as I can.] Or perhaps you're as conceited as ever, believing the world to revolve around you?
[Another shove.]
It's not you, Kiera Canorus. It was never you. Father did not have to die because I would not have died.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 05:07 am (UTC)kiera feared luca's flames at first, but once she understood her place in the aurelius family was one of love, that fear melted away. when did she start to be afraid of it again?
probably when, as he said, everything changed. she doesn't know him anymore.]
... What the fuck are you talking about, Luca?
cw: attempted self-harm
Date: 2024-03-11 05:14 am (UTC)What do we in Renova revere!? What do we hope for upon death?
[He doesn't give her a chance to answer. In one instant, his free hand — the one that hasn't been shoving her, flies to his throat. There's a corkscrew there, hidden from her and obscured by his repeated assaults. He's quick, and he knows where to strike. The pain would last only a few seconds. The mess would be more of an issue.
Only it doesn't happen. In one second, his hand is flying forward. In the next, a faint gout of flame shoots forward. It singes the span of his throat just barely. More importantly, though, it causes him to drop the weapon.]
Why?! [He hisses his words not to Kiera, but to something else. He places a hand to his head, wincing as another voice calls to him, audible only within his mind.
(Do not flaunt my powers when you know not if they work.)]
cw: attempted suicide
Date: 2024-03-11 05:25 am (UTC)then luca moves, too quickly for her to react. she sees all of the movements, but luca stops himself before she can. the phoenix stops him.
her jaw drops.
a phoenix burns, then rises from the ashes.
and luca... luca, she's fairly certain, just tried to fatally wound himself, just to prove a point.
the next words out of her mouth are pitiful, quiet, trembling with emotion and fear. she hates every moment of it.]
Luca, what happened to you?
cw: attempted suicide
Date: 2024-03-11 05:33 am (UTC)Every time, I have come back. Every time, the Phoenix reminds me that it is not done with me. And if I had been allowed to take the blade meant for me, it would have done the same.
[Luca doesn't have realize his eyes have begun to burn until it's too late. Dampness traces its way down over the round swell of his right cheek.]
He did not need to die. If the Phoenix had only told me it were possible, we would not have needed to be afraid. He would still be here.
[Behind them, that familiar spirit flickers in and out. Has his trademark charismatic smile faded in the slightest? Perhaps.]
cw: suicide
Date: 2024-03-11 05:59 am (UTC)of course she thinks of cyrus, bleeding out and choking on poison from the blade intended for his heir. but she also thinks of luca, fighting a castillan agent to the death and losing. luca, murdered in his sleep. luca, so alone and lost and anguished that he takes his own life.
luca, completely alone in the world, while kiera spent their life taking advantage of their position, drunk out of their mind, chasing every pleasure they could find in an effort to block out the pain that they probably could have eased if they'd only tried to face it.
luca, living in this grief and this guilt for nearly ten years.]
Luc... [kiera isn't crying, but their eyes are misty, and their voice quivering.] You didn't know. You couldn't have known. It wasn't your fault.
cw: suicide
Date: 2024-03-11 12:55 pm (UTC)By some miracle, what they do eventually find in themselves to say... isn't too far off how Luca feels. He knows they don't mean it in that regard, which makes him almost scoff. So close to the truth, but missing it entirely. It isn't like them, but how could they be expected to understand the full gravity of Luca's own situation.]
You're right. [He says it with a strange finality, one that runs counter to the broken chords of his voice just a few seconds prior.] I could not have known. It was not my fault.
[His hand settles above his chest. His fingers clamp down, nails digging through the fabric. If not for the second band over his chest, he might have even broken the skin.]
The Phoenix could have deigned to tell the truth years ago. It could have saved him. Instead, it sat idly in my mind until it was forced to act. [He shakes his head.] It doesn't care. Not for its scions. Not for its people. All it wants is pawns to act in its stead.
No more. I'll rip it out if I have to. And then I can finally rest.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 03:41 pm (UTC)all they can think of for the moment is how much they owe the phoenix. it welcomed them into its home despite their working for its enemy. eventually, its love for them burned so bright that the butterfly's influence was charred away entirely. after being reared to praise a beast so cruel, they found warmth and solace in a god that valued them as they were. kiera had come to love the phoenix with all their heart.
... but that was all a lie, too, they're realizing for the first time. the phoenix doesn't even care for its own blessed beyond his usefulness to it. why the hell would it care about them?]
So they are all the same. [they murmur, quiet, after a long moment of shock. and yet... the last thing luca says sends a shiver up their spine.]
What are you getting at?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-15 12:16 am (UTC)It's all hard to process, considering his own feelings.
Admittedly, he does catch her words, but he doesn't have the inclination to ask about them, not just yet. He is more occupied with her current question. And while he can't know the journey she's gone through to accept the Phoenix, he knows with some certainty that she's amongst its faithful.
Which means she won't like what he has to say.]
I plan to kill it. At any cost.
March 10th - Afternoon
Date: 2024-03-30 11:54 pm (UTC)It's strange, how his thoughts always seem to go to said Gargoyle. Stranger still is the way his stomach seems on the verge of twisting into knots. He has to focus his mind to keep from dwelling on it, lest he start acting like a boy with a crush.
He isn't. He doesn't. Or at least that's what he tells himself even as he marches over to the Church. Normally, he might sit below the building and call up to its resident. However, with Wolfwood and his companions busily prepping for that evening, he opts for something a little more private. And so he hefts himself up to the rafters, and then carefully exits through the hole in the ceiling.]
Zahilya. [He clears his throat.] You know, this is a rather difficult place to regularly visit you at.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-31 12:00 am (UTC)He hears Luca coming, climbing up the rafters, but doesn't register that it's him at first. He merely thinks either the good Father is trying to chase the pigeons out, or that Elsword's back in there, or maybe someone else is just fucking around. Then, he hears Luca's voice, and he tilts his head back and grins.]
It's good for you to climb. It keeps the upper body strength up. [Not that Luca needs it, really.] Did you come to watch with me? Everyone seems excited about this. I have to say, I like the thought of getting rid of the False God's things.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-31 12:47 am (UTC)But that's not why he's here. Luca sits beside him, and yes I mean actually sits. Save the Miqo'te posing for the Garg, thank you.]
I was actually coming up to see if it would bother you. You might be made of flame and stone, but hours of smoke in your eyes is bound to get irritating. [He clears his throat.] If... it grew to be too much, you're welcome to take refuge with me.
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Date: 2024-04-02 08:19 pm (UTC)[He glances over at Moder in the distance. That old moose has never seemed bothered by things getting in her eyes, considering how hidden away they are in the first place. Zahliya had, in the past, tried to take them out... it was difficult. That was when she was corrupted, of course.]
...do you think Moder has it handled? She's the omnipotent one, not me.
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Date: 2024-04-02 09:14 pm (UTC)If the idea makes you uneasy, I will not force it, but... [He cracks a grin as he looks from Moose to Garg.] She does have quite the size advantage, compared to you. Surely she can handle twice what you can.
[That's a playful little elbow for him.]
no subject
Date: 2024-04-08 04:34 pm (UTC)I did fight her once upon a time, for several hundred years in fact! I can handle things that are four times my size! [zahliya please] I like to believe we're on equal strength levels!
[HUFFS but not seriously.]
...either way, yes. I'll follow you. Are you going to climb down, or are you going to risk breaking your ankles, or do I need to fly you down?
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Date: 2024-04-11 04:11 am (UTC)In any case, my ankles are far sturdier than that. [He sounds very scandalized by the assumption.] And even if they broke, my own passenger would not allow for me to remain injured for long.
[Dumb bird baby has not yet realized how slow his healing is.]
And I would hate to debase such an esteemed guardian by making him carry me about.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-15 08:00 pm (UTC)[....no, it would be both of you idiots. What is this.]
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Date: 2024-04-16 01:30 am (UTC)I would not mind spending a few more nights in your presence. [Goddammit, what did we just say, Luca.
No matter. He huffs once at tosses his head to the side. His arms crossed, not unlike a petulant child. With his nose angled upward, he manages:] I would not be embarrassed.
[You know. Inviting the challenge. Very heterosexual.]
no subject
Date: 2024-04-17 07:41 pm (UTC)[Zahliya has discovered recently that sometimes, you can be a little silly. He's had his head in his own ass for quite a while, after all. "Killing monsters is the only thing I can do" and "I miss all of you from the past" were pretty much his only sentiments, but at least Luca seems to have startled him back to the real world with... that weird fluttery feeling, ugh, what is that.
Point is, he likes teasing Luca. And he knows he, logically, needs to realise that it's okay to just be without thinking he's going to get murdered because someone poked him in the arm. So!
He smirks at Luca. There's a glint in his eyes... and then he bends down and scoops the man bridal-style before he leaps off the side of the roof, catching the air on his leathery wings.
Get carried idiot.]
no subject
Date: 2024-04-21 01:17 am (UTC)[The rest of his words are swallowed by an echoing squawk. It's a very marvelous impression of a bird, all things considered. Which means it's pretty damn embarrassing for them both. Nevertheless, he doesn't exactly flail or try to get out. he knows better, knows that it'll only end in something broken for at least one of them.
The best he can do is cross his arms, scowl, and pretend that he didn't just effectively yelp and, well. Embarrass himself.]
Hilarious. Very much so.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-26 06:45 pm (UTC)[Smirking, he circles the treetops for a moment, then leans his weight back and lets the wind catch his wings in a proper stop once they're close enough to the ground. It's a bit of a janky landing, Zahliya isn't used to flying with a passenger (or really at all, since he can only go up about thirty feet), but Luca at least gets set on his feet right in front of the bar doors safely and gently.
There you go, you're free now.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-01 01:56 am (UTC)You won't even carry me across the threshold after all of that? What sort of treatment is this?
[He's just gonna stay dangling there. Don't mind him.]
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Date: 2024-05-07 10:04 pm (UTC)[Whatever, get scooped idiot. It's not a cute bridal carry, but rather Zahliya leaning down to throw Luca over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He will, in fact, carry Luca into the bar proper and then plop him down in a seat.
:) ]
Unless you'd rather I park you right behind your counter?
no subject
Date: 2024-05-09 01:34 am (UTC)That doesn't keep him from crossing his arms defiantly once he's in a seat. His leg shifts, angling so he can rest his heel against the opposite knee.]
I'm not cooking for you, if that's what you're getting at.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-10 12:22 am (UTC)Tail wagging :)]
I've never seen you anywhere else! [He's teasing, of course. He's seen Luca doing other things at the bar! ...mostly cooking though!] But no, I am not hungry right now.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-11 12:49 am (UTC)[He knows he could be contributing more. Investigating, finding answers. Truthfully, though, he's always been a bit subdued like this. Solitude is easier, especially when this place is familiar. The presence of the spirit helps, even if they can't exactly communicate.]
If I'm not cooking, then, what would you like to do? Unless you propose staring at one another for hours on end?
[Wait why did that make his heart skip. Gross.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-14 08:19 pm (UTC)[Perches on a chair.
Just fucking. Stares at Luca. Those green eyes are Open baby they ain't goin nowhere.
This is how we flirt yes yes, Zahliya might be stupid.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-18 09:31 pm (UTC)And yet you seem to be losing. What a shame!
[This is supposed to be the thread they have sex in and yet here they are. They actually just missed the fighting because they were being stupid. Incredible.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-23 02:52 am (UTC)(This will bite him in the ass later.)
He grins and tries to peer around Luca's hand, stopping to grab it and lower it and...
...then he just sort of holds it, adjusting himself into a proper sit as he does.]
When I first met you, I didn't know you'd be so goofy. I thought you were going to be too... [he hums, searching for a non-offensive way to put this,] concerned about the circumstances. Not that they aren't concerning, you understand, but...
I would not have learnt to relax without you. That's what I mean to say.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-25 04:37 pm (UTC)But Zahliya's always been a strange one. And try as he might, Luca can hardly deny the growing affection he feels for the Gargoyle.]
I am concerned, do not get me wrong. [But they both know that.] There is just something about you. It... makes me feel -
[Luca pauses, searching for the words. When he fails, he makes a vague motion with his hand, scowling faintly in his frustration.]
When I was younger, I wasn't... like this. Kiera and I were known for terrorizing our fellow nobles with all manner of foolishness. And sometimes - [He pauses, jaw tensing as he chews on the inside of his cheek.] You make me feel like that anew.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-29 06:37 pm (UTC)[He is Not letting go of Luca's hand. They're mutually warm, and the touch, for once, isn't something outright scary. Luca is not dangerous to Zahliya specifically, and Zahliya's unnatural heat isn't dangerous to him. It's... nice. It's just nice.
He flips Luca's hand over and traces the lines of his palm with a claw, delicate as a feather.]
It is very funny for you to say you feel young again when you are already very small. [wow] ...and I do like that you feel like a fool around me. I've not been very put together around you, either.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-29 09:34 pm (UTC)[It's not hard to see that most of the Grove cares for him. Perhaps not as much as Luca, but good luck getting him to admit that out loud just yet. The point is, Luca isn't so certain he's brought all that much good to Zahliya's life. Not that he doesn't cherish the Gargoyle or -
whoa, those are awfully sappy thoughts. Yet it turns out, they go just fine with his steadily thumping heart. He can't help it, when those claws find a way to be so gentle to him. They make him feel... less abnormal. He's long struggled with the burden of his Blessing, and how it makes him stand out. But when everyone else is different..]
I'm going to choose to ignore that comment - [Said with a soft grin.] and simply say that I... think I rather like when you aren't put together, Zahliya.
[He feels warm and light, content despite the way his heart rabbits within his chest. He meant what he said about feeling young again. This feels like his first crush, like how he used to write his own name with various last names of the boys he fancied around Aerea.]
It feels like a gift. Something secret for the two of us to share.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-03 09:33 pm (UTC)...but his tail is wagging behind him, so maybe that counts for something.]
You are embarrassing, [he says, despite being the one holding Luca's hand here,] my clownery is not a gift.
[But.]
...though, if you would consider it such, then I don't mind giving it to you freely. I do... [Deep breaths, little garg, it's okay.] ...I am rather fond of you. More than I think I am fond of the others. Do not tell them, I can't handle when Mizuki cries.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-04 12:42 am (UTC)Anyway. Luca glances toward that tail, watching its twitching back and forth and feels... emboldened. Maybe it's the words that Zahliya speaks, or the atmosphere. Perhaps, still, it's the confession that they've shared, however much they might have ducked around actually admitting anything.
Either way...]
I assure you, I do not kiss and tell.
[But they haven't - no shut up. Luca leans across the bar, almost hurriedly attempting to steal a kiss from Zahliya. It's little more than a peck before he ducks back and pretends to look for something. Just don't ask him what.]
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Date: 2024-06-04 04:12 pm (UTC)Zahliya has that same thought. "But we haven't???" and then Luca quickly closes that gap, though not long enough to really give a proper kiss. Like hey. Wait a second, come back here??
He is not a forward person unless it comes to a battle or wanting food to eat. Not normally. Luca is a lot different, though, in many good and glorious ways, and Zahliya feels pretty strongly that he was not done there. It helps to have an outlet for all the strange, fluttering feelings besides.
So:]
That was hardly a proper kiss. [And then he gets up and swings himself over the counter, hopping down at Luca's side.] I think it's supposed to last longer. I'm giving that a two out of ten stars, try again.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-06 01:23 am (UTC)Nevertheless, he has an image to keep. And that image forces him to press his lips into a thin line and cross his arms over his chest.]
It was a perfectly amenable first attempt. Especially when I was testing the waters. [He rolls his eyes hard enough that his head hurts.]
If you want another kiss so bad, why don't you show me how it's done?
no subject
Date: 2024-06-07 10:20 pm (UTC)[No, Zahliya, you just have a weird vantage point from on high.
Either way, he's going to shake off his nerves, go away nerves and let him put a name to these emotions finally, and surge forward and grab Luca's face with his hands to give him a proper kiss. ...his definition of proper, anyway, it's sloppy and uncoordinated and he has no idea what he's doing but it's a kiss!!]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-08 04:58 pm (UTC)Besides, that's not the -
[Luca... doesn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Suddenly, there is gargoyle hands on his face, and gargoyle lips on his mouth. Yes, it's clumsy and out of sorts, but it isn't as if Luca's previous affairs were particularly gentle or coordinated. He's pleased enough with the attention, making a sound into the kiss as his fingers lift to card through Zahilya's hair. Keep going, please and thank you.]
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Date: 2024-06-11 11:04 pm (UTC)tilt forward too much and send them both toppling to the floor.]
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Date: 2024-06-13 05:13 pm (UTC)Well. Zahliya's mouth is still on his, so he can't just abandon it. He returns the kiss eagerly, perhaps even hungrily. The remaining fingers in the gargoyle's hair finish off the hair tie, freeing that long, dark hair before coming to rest at the base of a horn.]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-17 09:51 pm (UTC)Which, to be honest, Zahliya has no idea how makeouts work. Yes, he has seen some face-sucking from on-high, but that doesn't mean the movements of his lips make much sense. He does make some sort of gargoyle-purr at having Luca's hand in his hair, though. That feels nice. Normally he'd pull back, but... Luca is safe. He's always been safe.
So, little garg-growls instead. With no idea how to continue kissing from here, though, he breaks the kiss to kiss along Luca's cheek and jaw instead. Surely that's what he's supposed to do now? Getting off the floor doesn't even come to mind. This is where we kiss now.]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-18 01:10 am (UTC)If you are insisting on continuing this, I am going to insist we take it upstairs. You will not have me on the floor.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-20 06:22 pm (UTC)...oh, yes. I suppose humans do not like laying on the floor.
[If Zahliya sleeps, it's on the roof, so... you know, no standards. He gets up, though, and he'll hold a hand out to tug Luca to his feet and dust him off. If his hands linger... shhhh.]
I'm sorry for pushing you over. I meant to just kiss you normally. That... did not happen.
[But it was fun! So.]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-21 07:22 pm (UTC)Do I sound angry? [He shakes his head, before placing a hand on his hip.] The only thing currently making me cross is the fact that you are not still kissing me? Or at least that we are not moving upstairs.
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Date: 2024-06-24 09:09 pm (UTC)[and that was his first kiss in... ever. So. Anyway, he's taking Luca by the hand.]
Unless you want to watch me fall on my tail while going upstairs.
[He's not dragging them upstairs, per se, but he is leading the way, and if it's at a slight run... shh, the boyishness goes both ways.]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-26 02:30 pm (UTC)It would only be right for you to fall down this time.
[He doesn't wait for a response, or even a kiss. He's already making for the stairs.]
If you feel like kissing me again, I suggest you hurry.
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Date: 2024-06-27 09:41 pm (UTC)I'm on a timer now?
[But they're skidding to a stop in front of Luca's door, where Zahliya fights with the doorknob until it opens. ...hopefully it's not locked or this will be embarrassing.]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-28 03:21 am (UTC)Indeed! You were the one who was so eager, after all.
[He watches with no small amusement as Zahliya struggles with the door. No, he's not offering to help. It's not locked, so surely the Garg can manage it! It's only once he does that Luca takes the lead and coaxes him in.
It's... relatively sparse up here. Luca clearly has made sure all the luxuries were customer facing. That being said, the bed itself is rather luxurious. Not that Zahliya hasn't been here before but I don't think I described what a bougie bitch Luca is, what with his silk sheets and absolute MOUND of pillows.]
Ah, well. Here you are. It isn't as if you are unfamiliar.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-28 03:42 pm (UTC)Emotionally... well anyway ignoring the stirring, anticipatory emotions is free.]
Certainly not, and were your window not too far up, I would have flown us in through that instead. ...probably. [Stupid fucking barrier. Zahlilya paces over to the mattress and sits down on it, bouncing briefly. He forgets how soft these things are.] You are going to sit with me, yes?
[Haha
yeah just sitting. Nothing else.]
no subject
Date: 2024-06-28 04:37 pm (UTC)[Luca hesitates a moment before finally settling in beside Zahliya. He fusses with the hem of his shirt, staring down at his fingers before glancing up once more. Now that they're here, he isn't sure what he's supposed to do. He's done this before, but it was far more... aggressive. There weren't feelings involved — and even if there were, they were the kind Luca wouldn't be caught dead acknowledging.
It's not the same with Zahliya. He cares about the Gargoyle, even if it's hard to admit it out loud. He wants to do this right, which is a pain in the ass when he doesn't know what right is...]
So -
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Date: 2024-07-03 08:01 pm (UTC)So. [He echoes, and then if Luca sits down, he will lean in to kiss him again because? what else could they possibly be here for?] Your face is red. Am I that good at kissing?
[you literally are not nice try tho]
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Date: 2024-07-05 11:11 pm (UTC)[He absolutely is, especially after Zahliya kisses him again. Since they're as close as they are, Luca doesn't hesitate to give him a little shove. It's playful more than anything, lacking any of his defensive sort of venom.]
And seeing as how your kisses have knocked me down at least once, I think I would be more than justified in saying that they need work.
[Which. Speaking of! Luca leans in and steals a kiss. And then another.]
Lots of work. [One last kiss.] I don't know what I will do with you.
no subject
Date: 2024-07-12 08:22 pm (UTC)Mm? Do they? I suppose you'll just have to teach me, won't you? Practice makes perfect, or so the human adage goes.
[Speaking of kisses. Zahliya is also returning them, eagerly at that, giving little time for either of them to really breathe. It's not like he's really gotten "making out" down, but his hands are on Luca's shoulders and he's being about as aggressive as an immortal stone creature who has never kissed before can be. Lots of cute little pecks, giggles, lips parting oh hey he figured something out—]
no subject
Date: 2024-07-15 03:28 pm (UTC)Yes, Luca tries and fails to not let the thought run away from him. Maybe that's why he takes the chance to place his hands against Zahliya's shoulders and push him back down against the bed. Guess we're doing this now.
He breaks the kiss just to add the pithiest little:]
How is this for learning?
Zahliya (immediately post Zahliya-quest)
Date: 2024-10-14 03:59 am (UTC)Instead, Luca finally catches sight of a familiar form near the river. He clears his throat on approach, figuring it best not to startle the creature whilst its predatory sibling still loomed. Nevertheless, Zahliya isn’t going to get away with stewing in silence tonight.]
I brought you something.
[There are bandages in one hand, on the off-chance any Zonari-inflicted wounds have lingered, and a bottle of alcohol in the other. Luca… actually isn’t sure if Zahliya can drink but! Hey! Only one way to find out.]
I feel it would be foolish to ask how you are feeling considering everything but… [A vague motion.] How are you feeling?
haha gay
Date: 2024-10-14 06:57 am (UTC)Pissed off, mostly. [For reasons that are very obvious. But he takes the bandages anyway and starts patching himself up. He's also mostly naked sorry Luca (not sorry Luca). At least there are pants??] At least my head feels like it's on right, but it won't stop pounding.
[He sighs. Then:]
At least you remain a breath of fresh air.
Re: haha gay
Date: 2024-10-16 03:30 pm (UTC)A ghost of a smile spreads over Luca's lips at the compliment, before settling into something a bit more stony and determined. After setting the bottle of alcohol down, he reaches out and snatches the bandages back with one hand, before grabbing hold of an arm with another. Let him take care of it, thanks.]
As I always hope to be. [He thumbs gingerly over Zahliya's inner wrist, before setting about properly wrapping one of the more grievous looking wounds. He is careful not to let his own skin touch it, lest the corruption try to affect him in turn.]
It only makes sense for your mind to be swimming. Not only did you lose much, but you also learned. There is... much to take in.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-17 01:54 am (UTC)My head feels jammed full. She gave me all of the memories back, including encounters hundreds of years ago that she'd erased. And... whatever happened in the timeloop you apparently got stuck in also got folded into my memories, so I have two separate sets of what happened after I woke up. I never saw the inside of the Temple before.
...
Sorry that I tried to kill all of you.
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Date: 2024-10-17 03:01 am (UTC)[Two sets of memories, never mind all that Zahliya had been robbed of... Luca can't fathom it. His gods had been cruel, but never that cruel.
Somehow, though, he finds it in himself to laugh. It's only slightly bitter, too!]
I... think we might have deserved it, if you had. We were being rather... unruly.
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Date: 2024-10-17 04:08 am (UTC)[...pinches Luca's cheek.]
I used to be far angrier than I was. I have you to thank for... making me better, I suppose.
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Date: 2024-10-22 02:09 am (UTC)[He likes a bad boy, what can he say?]
Are you sure you're going to be alright, Ahli? Especially with your new reminder floating about nearby...
[Just gonna glance toward Zonari's perch, thanks.]
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Date: 2024-10-23 06:08 pm (UTC)[....SO ANYWAY,]
...I will be fine. Moder is pissed off, too, and won't go near where my so-called sibling is, but we've endured worse. I don't believe that anyone will be able to rehabilitate her, but it would be a huge blow to that asshole false god, so I hope you will for your sakes.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-24 03:09 am (UTC)Well, if anyone can, it will be my sibling. Not because I think she has any emotional aptitude, or some sort of secret way of worming into Zonari's brain. [Even though she... kinda does.]
She's simply a stubborn bitch, same as your sister. They'll get on great and exchange gossip before long.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-24 07:07 pm (UTC)[Hmm...]
You know, I would like to hear embarrassing stories about you. If they start talking about you, I might just sneak around the corner to listen.
after feral vash attack
Date: 2024-10-17 01:37 am (UTC)said "something else" turns out to be his sister, drenched in their own blood and wheezing softly. clearly still alive, at the very least. as soon as they catch sight of him, they smile with bloody teeth.]
Sorry for the mess.
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Date: 2024-10-17 02:53 am (UTC)Kiera! [He rushes to her side, already taking stock of the wounds.] What in the light happened to you?
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Date: 2024-10-17 03:47 am (UTC)Mm... One very angry cactus flower. [even as soft as their voice is -- especially so, given the wound in their side -- it seems they can't turn off the pitiful attempts at joking.]
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Date: 2024-10-22 02:07 am (UTC)I can't help you here. You need to be at the clinic. Why the hells didn't you go there?
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Date: 2024-10-22 03:36 am (UTC)kiera thinks he's so stupid sometimes. where would they go on the brink of ruin but straight to him?
they would fight him harder, but... their body doesn't seem to want to cooperate at this point.]
No, no. Just wrap me up for now and I'll head over later. He's still out there.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-22 02:44 pm (UTC)I'll burn him alive if I have to. But I'm not letting you bleed to death on my fucking floor, you stupid - [He trails off with a low growl. He opts, instead, to heave Kiera to her feet.]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-22 03:01 pm (UTC)Came here to make sure -- you would be safe, dumbass. If you put yourself in danger, dragging me across town... then I came here for nothing.
no subject
Date: 2024-10-24 03:05 am (UTC)[Before Luca can finish, there's the oppressive sound of thunder from outside. It happens in rapid succession, too loud and too frequent to be natural.
Right. Okay. He inhales as deep as he can, before setting her down.]
Don't move. If you bleed out before I get back with bandages, I'll kill you.
[And with that he's running up the stairs as fast as he can.]
no subject
Date: 2024-10-24 04:10 am (UTC)Couldn't if I wanted to... [they chuckle weakly, that shit-eating grin stained red.] So I'll spare you the trouble.
during bracelet enchantment
Date: 2025-03-11 03:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-11 04:22 am (UTC)The brevity pauses for a moment when Kiera notices Clive, though. A wink is directed toward Luca, before she conveniently disappears into the store room. Luca, meanwhile, turns to face Clive. It's probably silly for him to already be flushed but... here we are.]
Hello, Clive. Is it time for your nightly planning session already?
no subject
Date: 2025-03-11 04:29 am (UTC)Actually, I'm here to speak with you. I have a rather odd request I need to ask.
[ Fight me could be blunt enough but- ]
I was wondering if you would spar with me?
no subject
Date: 2025-03-11 04:40 am (UTC)[He says it like it's actually a surprise. As if they haven't been dancing around their affectations for the better part of a month now. Never mind the kiss they had shared.
But the fact that it's a request gives him pause, and the request itself makes him outright gape. He searches Clive's face for a joke but... finds nothing to indicate as much. Hm.]
Well... it isn't as if I have anything else to do. [Kiera has this handled, he's just being overbearing about it.] May I ask what inspired you so?
no subject
Date: 2025-03-11 04:58 am (UTC)His shaggy hair prevents the tips of his ears from betraying his blushing. ]
Would you accept it's a surprise gift in the making? It's part of a quest Ydalir handed to me. I'm to spar you until you're exhausted.
[ And... he's allowed to flirt, so after a pause, he smirks a little and tilts his head. ]
Sadly not the type of sparring I'm most looking forward to, but helpful, none the less.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-11 05:04 am (UTC)Clive's quip cuts off his train of thought. He's left to scowl at the man, shoving once at his shoulder before moving away from the barstool he'd been settled on. It's a good thing he'd come down from his room with his rapier tucked at his side already.]
Come then. Let me wipe that smirk off your face before it sticks.
[He's leading Clive outside, thank you.]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-12 02:15 am (UTC)Once outside, however, he moves to draw his sword from it's sheathe on his back, adjusting his grip with his left hand. He still doesn't like using it, it's not nearly as strong as his right, but he has no choice unless he tapes it to his hand. ]
Remember. Exhaustion. Come at me with everything. No holding back.
[ He's fascinated to see how Luca fights, too. A rapier makes him think of Jill. Lighter, dartier? Hm. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-12 02:43 am (UTC)He'd like to think he's coming in with an advantage though. He knows how a greatsword wielder moves and attacks for the most part. Granted, his own style was much different, considering the fact that his own blade had been just as tall as he was. Nevertheless, Luca is confident as he unsheaths his rapier and gives a nod.
There is a brief moment where he grips the blade with both hands, as if he did indeed clutch a much larger weapon. It's corrected quickly enough, posture shifting with relative ease, even as he scolds himself mentally.]
You don't have to tell me twice.
[He rotates his wrist once, watching the blade dip and bend, before flicking his gaze up toward Clive. Come at him with everything? He'll be sure to make Clive regret those words.]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-14 04:40 am (UTC)Would this be more your speed?
[ Take it, his voice says, because he has an idea. He asked for everything Luca has to give, after all, and he should give as much as well. As he holds the sword out, he calls Odin to him, then manifests Zantetsuken to his right hand. The sword almost grows out of it, silver-blue and jagged.
And with it on his right hand, he can use it properly, twirling his wrist to swing the blade around before offering Luca a little smirk. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-14 05:04 am (UTC)After a moment, he gingerly sets the rapier down and takes the larger blade by the hilt. Both hands wrap around it and pull back. He gives it a few experimental swings — albeit several steps away from Clive — before giving a brisk nod.]
It will -
[He doesn't finish his statement. He watches the sword manifest within Clive's hands with something between awe and horror. It's not dissimilar to another man Luca knew, capable of summoning a liquid arsenal all without batting an eyelash.
For some reason, it sends a jolt of something heated through him. Not gonna acknowledge that thought with a ten foot pole, thank you. Instead, he admires the way Clive easily moves the blade within his stony hand.]
There is to be no disadvantages in this fight, I see.
[Good. All the easier to exhaust himself upon.]
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Date: 2025-03-14 05:42 am (UTC)It wouldn't be fair to ask all of you, without giving you all of me in return.
[ Though he knows he's going to have to be careful calling any Eikons. With how unstable the curse is, he's lucky it didn't aggravate with merely calling Odin to him.
He steps back a bit and salutes Luca with the sword, bowing lightly as he does, before positioning his sword in the ready stance. Clive looks far more confident with the sword in his right hand, having been swinging one since he was six. And he's learned patience, his eyes bright on Luca but studious. Slightly dark as Odin's energy fills him.
On Luca's mark. ]
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Date: 2025-03-15 12:07 am (UTC)Not that Clive makes it any easier, talking like that. Giving all of him is certainly a thrilling thought, one that makes Luca lick his lips contemplatively. Maybe he can dwell on it further, later. He's wasting precious time, here.
After adjusting his grip on the hilt once more, Luca reaches into his mind. He calls the the Phoenix's power forth, sending flame down the span of the blade. He's pretty sure the weapon won't come to harm, considering who its wielder is. Nevertheless, it won't last but a second in any case.
Luca sprints forward, swinging overhead and coming down toward Clive's shoulder.]
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Date: 2025-03-15 02:25 am (UTC)But as good as he takes, he gives to Luca in return. He doesn't spare his strength when their swords clash, his teeth baring as he brings his considerable weight down behind the eikonic weapon attached to his arm. He knows his own will hold up, aided by Luca's fire, so he doesn't worry about meeting blow for blow.
He only calls for an end when they're both at their limit, when the muscles begin to burn and lifting their weapons begins to feel like moving a boulder with a hand. Clive isn't unused to pushing himself to the point his body gives out, though he hasn't dealt with that in a long time, but Ydalir said to exhaustion.
So to exhaustion it is.
He raises his hand, using the tip of the eikon sword to rest on, sagging a little into it, laughing a little, his breathing heavy and rough. ]
I keep forgetting what it's like not to use magic.
[ His muscles burn and he tilts his head to Luca. ]
Got anything left in you?
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Date: 2025-03-15 03:04 am (UTC)But acting on most of that can wait. Right now, he's far too winded to do much of anything. He has his hands braced upon his knees, half bent over. He opts to stop standing entirely, instead, settling into the grass on his knees.]
Beasts. [It's really all he can think for the time being. He hears Clive's question, but has to take a few moments to actually weigh it within his mind. Eventually he lifts his hand and attempts to let out a shot of flame. Instead, only a piffle of smoke leaves him.]
I think I am tapped out. You?
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Date: 2025-03-15 03:28 am (UTC)I think I pulled something the last swing, so I'm done.
[ And then he holds the bracelet out, his voice soft as he lets it sit in his open palm. ]
Your gift. I was told to make sure to tell you to never take it off. Before you place it on, however, you should know what it will do. It will allow you to close the connection between you and the Phoenix whenever you desire it.
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Date: 2025-03-15 03:36 am (UTC)He stops, however, just short. What Clive describes is nothing short of a miracle. He feels something painfully hopeful shoot through him, but he knows not what to make of it. His heart thunks heavily within his chest, alternating between joy and fear.]
Clive - [His voice shakes as he takes the bracelet into his hand. He moves it back and forth between his palm, feeling power and comfort within it. He almost worries it might burn him. Part of him even thinks to hand it back.
He can feel the Phoenix's indignation in the back of his mind. It makes dread coil all the tighter within his gut.]
I - don't know what to say.
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Date: 2025-03-15 03:47 am (UTC)Then don't say anything. You needn't even wear it, if you don't desire it. But it is an option I can give you, until I can end it permanently.
[ Oh yes, he hasn't forgotten what his initial promise was. He'll figure out a way to take the Phoenix out of Luca entirely, either by breaking the connection or figuring out how to let Ifrit consume foreign Aether.
He finally shifts his hand up to reach up to curl his fingers against Luca's jaw, tilting his chin upwards, leaning in to place a soft kiss down against the corner of his mouth, his voice soft. ]
It's a start, but it's only a start when you feel comfortable taking it. All right?
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Date: 2025-03-15 03:57 am (UTC)He moves at Clive's urging, staring up at him with a sheen of tears in his eyes. He opens his mouth, but finds that he can't quite manage the words. Instead, he pitches forward, head thunking against the center of Clive's chest.]
You are - [His voice wobbles.] You - kept your word.
[Of course he would. Clive Rosfield never once gave the slightest indication of not being a man of his word.]
I don't know if - if I'm ready to activate it. I fear what the Phoenix may do if I shut it out, only to ask for its power later. But... [He shifts backward, and instead holds his hand out. He presents the bracelet once more, offering a hesitant smile.]
Will you help me put it on?
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Date: 2025-03-15 04:36 am (UTC)I try.
[ And he nods, understanding that hesitation. But it will offer Luca the ability to shut the Phoenix out if it begins to hurt him. A warning that he won't put up with the creatures claws anymore. He lets him lean back, glancing down to the bracelet as it's presented, then back up to the smile.
Which gets his own out of him and he nods, carefully picking the not-so-delicate piece of jewelry up. ]
Together?
[ Because he can't use his right hand, so he carefully hooks his thumb into the latch and waits for Luca to grip the other end, so they can hook it around his wrist together. ]
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Date: 2025-03-15 04:52 pm (UTC)For a long time, he has not been a man of prayer. Not when his deity has been as scornful as it is. Nevertheless, Luca finds himself uttering a silent thank you. Not to his Beast, who already bristles as Luca's audacity, but to the gods and guardians of this world. For so long, he had distrusted them. This kindness marked a shift from that.
With his silent utterance out of the way, Luca turns his attention back to Clive. In the height of his emotions, he had forgotten of Clive's limitations. No matter. It feels far more poetic to work together. He takes the other end as instructed and gives a nod.]
Together.
[He loops it around his wrist, touch still boarding on reverent. He waits for Clive to latch it into place, then holds it out into the small space beneath them. Something moves through him, creeping up his arm and down the span of his body. It feels powerful, protective even. More than anything, it feels loving. He'll have to ask what all went into the process, but he doubts it was easy or without its share of emotion.
The Phoenix, naturally, continues to balk. Luca pays it no mind.]
What do you think? Does it suit me?
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Date: 2025-03-17 12:56 am (UTC)It does but it doesn't nearly have the same lustre.
[ He admires the stone only briefly, he's seen it enough, and turns his attention to Luca instead, tilting his head a little and smiling at him. ]
Don't think I've forgotten my promise. [ Threat, to the Phoenix. Behave, or else. ] But this is the least I can do for now.
[ Maybe if they ever figure out ways to go home, he'll make good on his promise. Until then, all they can do is shut the door on the Phoenix's beak. A beat or two as he thinks, his brow furrowing a little. If the Phoenix decides not to give Luca it's aid in turn, out of spite... well, he doesn't know if he can give Blessings with the other Eikons, they're not his, not really.
But Ifrit is... ]
And I'll be there by your side for any other moments that might arise.
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Date: 2025-03-17 01:22 am (UTC)You are doing terrible things to my stoic persona, I hope you know.
[He... doesn't hate it. He's long lamented the loss of the boy he used to be. He's not the only one, either. Kiera still seems to hold fast to that young man. It would be easier for all of them, he thinks, to be a little more like that.
But he can turn that thought over more later. Clive is here and now at the moment, happy with Luca as he is. He reaches up, cupping the man's cheek and gingerly thumbing over the scar there. He waits only a second before leaning up to steal a kiss, one that he hopes conveys the endless gratitude he feels.]
If you could only ever do this, it would be enough. It's more than anyone has been able to accomplish thus far.
[He shifts just enough to lay his forehead against Clive's shoulder.]
I know you will. Perhaps it's too early to say but... you have yet to let me down once.
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Date: 2025-03-17 07:02 am (UTC)You? Stoic?
[ The cup to his cheek makes him close his eyes and lean in to it, relaxing into it like a touch starved animal, his hand coming up in turn to cover over Luca's. The soft touch to his mouth makes him smile and lean in to return it, a brief warm brush.
As Luca leans in to him, he shifts his arms to cradle the other, just letting him rest against him and making sure he's secure so he can just relax. They did just get done pushing each other to the limits after all, Luca deserves to relax. ]
I vow it. I will not fail you.
[ He turns his head to press his mouth into Luca's head, letting it linger there for a moment. ]
Do you need help returning to the Watchtower?
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Date: 2025-03-18 12:42 am (UTC)Which, speaking of, yes he's melting as Clive leans his head into the touch. He can at least be pleased by the fact that for all the comfort the other man gives him, Luca seems to give the same right back.]
I trust you, Clive Rosfield.
[A smirk crosses his lips after a moment, He glances toward the Watchtower, then back at Clive.]
I suppose if you're offering to carry me up the stairs and start a hot bath, I will not complain. It's only fair, after the work you made me put in.
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Date: 2025-03-19 12:17 pm (UTC)[ His voice is musing but he's smiling as he says it, finally opening his eyes so Luca can see the sparkle in them. He doesn't say anything else as he shifts his other arm under Luca's legs to easily gather him up off the ground and into his arms proper. Then stands with him. ]
I did challenge you, it's only fair.
[ He pauses only to kneel so Luca can grab his Rapier and Clives sword for him, before straightening again and carrying him into the Watchtower proper. He will carry him up stairs, people watching be damned, and he WILL draw him a bath, see if he won't. ]
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Date: 2025-03-19 12:55 pm (UTC)Never mind the fact that you rendered me so emotional.
[There is, of course, no real complaint to those words. It's a very precious gift that he's been given, and he'll be grateful to Clive for as long as he draws breath.
For, now, though, he twists his body in order to properly sheathe his rapier. It's a bit more effort to get Clive's sword tucked away, but he does it with the same care as his own weapon. Eventually he settles once more, opting to glare daggers at anyone who dares to cast them a sideways glance.
Once they're out of earshot, Luca sighs. There's a faint laugh in his voice.]
Oh, the gossip we've once again inspired.
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Date: 2025-05-20 03:28 pm (UTC)Luca,
I believe the last letter I wrote to you was addressed "Ser Aurelius," quite some time ago. It feels almost ridiculous to communicate this way now, but I am pleased to note that even as I write, I am not overwhelmed with a sense of dread as I was in person. My hope is that this affliction is over with sooner rather than later. It pains me to leave you alone at this difficult time, so I suppose I will have to bother you sufficiently in this manner in the meantime. I pray that my meandering thoughts are, at present, a comfort rather than an annoyance to you.
Thanks to a generous (and entirely voluntary, I can assure you) donation from a new arrival, I needn't worry about feeding for some time. Even like this, it being physically necessary and all, I found the taste repulsive, which is a great relief. Nonetheless, I am doing my best to avoid anyone still in human form. I have taken to occupying my time with reading. There is an abundance of books in the school library and hardly any visitors at this time. I suspect that even if I had started at one end when we first arrived and read nonstop since, I would have hardly covered but a few shelves. My favorites thus far have been concerning subjects such as crop rotation, selective breeding of fancy pigeons, and farriering and hoof injury and disease, though I'm sure none of these come as surprises.
What did shock me is the existence of fiction romanticizing vampires. In this particular book, the human protagonist lusts after one and dreams of "being turned" by him. Can you imagine? As you might expect, disgust soon won out over my curiosity, and so that novel will forever remain unfinished by me or anyone in the Grove.
In the absence of the gentle giant (or rather, his inability to fit through the doors of the school) I have been looking after the greenhouse plants here. By the grace of some heretofore unknown benevolent god, indoor piping and tap water do not unnerve me as the river does. It is nice to bask in the presence of living things that do not cower from me on instinct. Do tell me how my beloved Pinto Grigio is faring, if you would be so kind. I miss her terribly.
I suppose I ought not push my luck, getting too long-winded about this. You needn't feel obligated to match my length, as I'm aware you're a man of fewer words than the boy in the barracks was. Even so, I must admit, it would comfort me to be privvy to your thoughts of late. Please do not feel guilt on my behalf should you be unable, however.
Your sister always,
Ser Kiera Canorus
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Date: 2025-05-21 02:17 am (UTC)Ser Aurelius,
Do not think I missed your faux pas there. Do you think that your current condition strikes you from the family line? I cannot imagine Father would feel that way. He would, does love you unconditionally, just as I do.
I am glad you have been able to achieve some level of comfort. I cannot imagine it was easy to accept, voluntary or no. I am glad, though, that you are caring for yourself. Just as we both know how you would regret it had you not.
Trust that I wish I could be with you in this time as well. I know you are struggling deeply, and if we were both not keenly aware of how difficult my presence would prove to be, I would be there in but a moment.
Dearest sister, I do hope you know that a romance could be made out of anything. Might I regale you with the one about the Cataegan Emissary and the heir to the Phoenix? Something tells me you would truly hate that. Still, I am glad you have found enjoyment within other pages. Will you tell me your favorite so far?
Pinto fares well, as to all the chicks. They remain obscenely plump, thanks to a kind benefactor who learned from your ways. You are quite welcome.
As for my own thoughts, I fear they verge on the romantic. There is something I neglected to tell you before trouble struck. Truly I felt... ashamed to talk about it, and also didn't want to trouble you with things I know you feel distaste for. But... Zahliya and I separated in the wake of Clive's absence. I said some rather untoward things to him, and though I have apologized, he has requested time and space.
It... has made things difficult. I suspect that is why my powers have been manifesting as they have. An influx of emotions combined with additional power has been... difficult.
In any case, I do so miss you. I eagerly await the moment in which this new curse releases you.
Your faithful brother,
Luca Aurelius
PS: Rip another piece of paper from a book and I will rip a chunk of hair from your head. Use paper like the civilized harlot I know you to be.
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Date: 2025-05-21 02:46 am (UTC)Luca,
I must admit that I was uncertain whether you truly meant it. I know we have had many disagreements since Father's passing, and likewise have made efforts to mend our relationship, but deeply ingrained habits die hard. I have lived so long in self-imposed exile that sometimes I struggle to even comprehend that you might still care for me. Before you go blaming yourself, know I have always had such doubts. They are as much a part of who I am as my very bones. I will do my best to take your gesture of goodwill to heart, however.
As far as novels go, I have greatly enjoyed a tale about a lowly servant-groom who raises a stallion from its birth. The pair bond for life and endure many trials together, but it is a glad story in the end.
I regret teasing you about romance so frequently. As much as I don't welcome such things for myself, it isn't my intention to frighten you away from sharing important aspects of your life with me. Still, I fear I was neglectful. I should have realized something was amiss. For not noticing your pain, Luca, I am truly sorry. Knowing this only makes me wish all the more that I could reassure you in some way. Once I am freed from these invisible shackles, I would be most glad to help in any way you deem appropriate. I could join you in fishing at the river, or even sit through a game of chess sober.
Thank you for humoring me with these letters. True, it is not the same as spending time with you, but it is a way to speak nonetheless, and I think that is helping me to remain sane.
Hesitantly,
Ser Kiera Aurelius
P.S. I believe it will take me some time to grow accustomed to seeing it written once more.
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Date: 2025-05-21 03:25 am (UTC)Kiera,
I can only imagine how difficult it is. Your upbringing, the "purpose" you were given has haunted you for far too long. I only wish you had been able to hear it from him that he did not hold it against you. All of my words will never compare.
It sounds like a lovely book. Perhaps once you have recovered, I can pay a visit to the library and read it myself. I should like to know what you have enjoyed so much.
I do not think you were neglectful. Truthfully I was... reluctant to talk about it for more than one reason. Zahliya is an incredibly important figure in this world. Strong and capable at that. The last thing I want is for anyone to think ill of him. Or to share his business when he is already going through enough. And... honestly, perhaps I was ashamed to admit the depth of my malice in that moment.
The truth is that I accused both him and you of never caring to do enough about the Phoenix. I wanted to convince myself that neither of you cared enough, so that it was far easier to shove the two of you away. It wasn't fair, and I suppose it is only right that I suffer these consequences.
I - think fishing would be best avoided, though. Callan shares remarkable similarities to Emissary Alazon. It's been a bit... difficult to reconcile. Chess would be nice, though.
I feel the same about our current method of communicating. If I am truly honest, it has been far easier to speak my feelings. It's too easy to become self-conscious with how much I feel, especially hvae I have tried so hard for so long not to feel at all.
... Thank you, by the way. For being so patient with all of that.
Gratefully,
Luca Aurelius
P.S. I have missed it so dearly, though.
P.P.S. After everything was said and done back home, I began to consider joining the guard again. Even in a reserve capacity. Do you think you would loathe working with me again?
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Date: 2025-05-21 05:16 am (UTC)Truth be told, I have known in my heart since then that he would have accepted me. There was always the fear of rejection, but he was not that sort of man, nor that sort of parent. My greatest regret is that I simply lacked the bravery to be honest with him, to give him the chance to prove his virtue, before it was too late. Perhaps, like you with Zahliya, I believed that I deserved to live in that pain.
Hah. It is pitiful how alike we still are, even after so much has changed.
I feel I should give you as much honesty as you have offered me. Last year, when we were trapped beneath the ocean, the Phoenix spoke to me through your body. I made a deal with the Beast that when we returned home, I would volunteer myself as its new host so that it would leave you be. I don't know if such a thing is even possible, but it agreed, and so I believed I was helping. Underhanded, yes. Behind your back, yes. I was afraid to tell you, because I know you would never approve of such self-destructive methods, and I did not know how else to ease your pain.
I swear to you, Luca, if I had known that it was possible to kill a Beast, I would have fought the wretch to my last breath. I would have made more blatant efforts had I been aware of any other recourse. I don't fault you your resentment of me, but still I beg your forgiveness.
You are everything to me. I will never give up on you, no matter the pain it brings me or the time I spend waiting on you.
If you will still have me, despite all of this, I would ask for nothing more than the chance to remain at your side.
Kiera
cw: references to suicide
Date: 2025-05-21 05:33 am (UTC)Truly, we must be related or something.
... Terrible as it is, though, it does bring me some comfort. I have made no secret of how broken and unfixable I feel at times. Knowing that someone else shares these struggles and burdens keeps me from feeling less isolated. And maybe it gives me hope that we can both put ourselves right.
[Kiera would have no way of knowing, but Luca takes a long pause here. The words she'd written are troubling ones. His past self fumes at her for making that promise. The man he is now understands her actions, at the very least.
A few ink blobs rest on the paper, where he tapped his pen a few times before continuing. Kiera might even notice a few burn marks at the corner of the page. Understanding or no, the wash of emotions that her confession evokes is a bit much to swallow.]
You did all that you thought you could.
I won't lie, some part of me is angry. The Phoenix was... not a burden I would wish on anyone. Had you gone through with it, I might have tried to kill you myself for signing yourself up for that fate. But I won't pretend I don't also understand why.
I would do the same, if the Butterfly ever interceded in your life so severely.
All that is to say. Do not apologize for doing what I would do, were the roles reversed. If anything, I should apologize for not trusting in you. For doubting what you would do for me. You are an Aurelius, through and through. Your devotion to your family is proof of that.
But you don't need to worry. Since extinguishing the Phoenix and absorbing its flame, things have become easier. No, no. That isn't quite true. I learned how to cope when I was home. You never gave up on me there, either. And I suppose between both aspects, it has made me feel... less opposed to my life. My fate.
I don't know that immortality appeals to me, now being the Beast proper, but I can deal with that down the line. I have no intentions of extinguishing that flame preemptively. Of that, you have my word.
As for your place with me, you need not ask. You have always belonged here with me, Kiera Aurelius. You are my sister. And you always will be.
Love,
Luc
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Date: 2025-05-21 03:58 pm (UTC)Luc,
I would that you never knew such despair. I will admit, when I first came to Renova, I felt both terrible jealousy and disdain for you. As far as I allowed myself to believe, you had never known hardship, you were impossibly naïve, and the entire world had been handed to you on a silver platter. But unlike those I had spent my earliest years surrounded by, you were glad to share in your wealth of both status and spirit, and I came to realize what a fool I was to resent your good fortune.
I wish that I could have kept you from this pain forever. I feel that I failed you. I am aware that there is nothing I could have done at the time to prevent the Beast from scorning you, or to dissuade Augustus from allowing his blackened heart to rule his judgment. I am aware that Castilla's and Cataega's agents will never stop seeking to harm us until we put them down.
To that end, I do not know why I am telling you this. My intent is not to add more guilt to that which already weighs upon you. Perhaps I feel I do not deserve your forgiveness, nor your acceptance. Maybe I would feel differently, had I the same memories of home that you do. From my perspective, I have done next to nothing to aid you, and it feels horrid to take credit for efforts I do not recall making.
Still, I am moved by your sentiment, even if the last thing I would ever want is for you to fall victim to the Monster of my birthplace. Though I should like to think that with your power being what it is now, that scenario is entirely impossible.
I would be glad to help, when the time comes. Far be it from me to wish death upon you, but I think it would be crueler still to suggest that you do not deserve rest after all is said and done. That said, I will under no circumstances allow you to expire before the age of one hundred, and in that I feel I am being quite generous.
We will have many, many years ahead of terrorizing our fellow Guardsmen once more, Ser Aurelius.
Also with love,
Ki
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Date: 2025-05-23 09:04 pm (UTC)Ki,
It's not an incorrect judgement. I had never known despair. Not only was I granted privilege the likes of which many will never see, but I also was kept from many of the trials that my predecessors had suffered. Father knew how one could suffer beneath a name and title, especially when not afforded the power it should normally bring. Perhaps that's yet another reason why he grew so attached to you. Whether he knew it or not, both of you were familiar with the savagery that one's own blood could bring.
Even if not, you know how Father was. He wanted us to do good. To not be complacent. It's one of the many reasons I have grappled with my path for so long. What I did felt right in the moment, blazing through Castilla and Cataega as I had. And yet I wonder if he would have been disappointed, to see me act as my ancestors.
Likewise, I do not know why I am telling you all of this, or what point I seek to make. I hope you can find some sort of wisdom in my words, though.
In any case, I do not feel that you have failed me. You are still here, trying despite any insistence to the contrary. You have ensured that I know joy and comfort, even going as far as paining yourself to offer an explanation to your distance.
And if it is any consolation, I would sooner burn the Butterfly for attempting to pull you in, rather than allow it to ensnare either of us. But this way felt more poetic.
I think one hundred years would be acceptable. Perhaps not here, but back home. There is much that I have missed out on and would like to make up for. Would you like to assist me? That does include terrorizing the guards, of course.
Love,
Luc
no subject
Date: 2025-05-24 11:30 pm (UTC)Luc,
I have long wondered, myself, what he would think of the person I've become. I am under no impression that my long years of wasting away under the influence of the very thing that enabled him to give me a good life would allow him to rest soundly. Many days, the mere thought of breaking his heart thusly only makes me that much more desperate to muddle my mind with deeper drink.
It seems we are both trapped in pits of our own creation. As you said, it makes me feel less alone, but I regret that you know the feeling whatsoever. At least we have one another to prevent ourselves from backsliding too far.
There will be plenty of time to relearn all that was pleasant in Renova. Gods, the city alone will keep us occupied for years. I will have to show you the up and coming eateries and businesses. In fact, I can recommend a baker you would be tempted to hire on full time for your own personal consumption.
I ought to ask -- when you next send sweet Polaris, by chance could it be in the evening hours? I do so miss flying with her, and the interior of the school does not lend itself very well to aerial acrobatics.
Kiera
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Date: 2025-05-26 05:11 am (UTC)Ki,
While he might not be happy about it, he wouldn't condemn you for it, either. I've heard rumors of the man he was before my birth. He struggled, just as we did. It was his primary reason for trying so hard to cater to us, I believe.
That we do. Honestly... it is difficult to see my own progress sometimes. But I know I see yours. I also trust your judgement implicitly. So if you feel I have begun my redemption, I have to believe it, do I not?
A baker? Do tell me more. Do they prefer breads? Or have they dabbled in pies? I long for an apple pie from home. I do my best, and it is passable, but it never is quite the same.
I think you will find her arrival time to be adequate. Do tell me how your flight goes.
Luc
[True to his word, Polaris's next arrival comes at sunset. It gives Polaris a bit of time to rest and Kiera to write before they take off.]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-27 04:07 am (UTC)Luca,
I understand your reasoning. I suppose I feel that you have made greater strides than I of late, and I confess there is a part of me that has no desire to improve myself. It is quite uncomfortable, physically and mentally, the idea of finding complicated, exhausting alternatives to what is at present quite a simple and easy bandage on the wound.
Their pies are, in fact, what reminded me so vividly of you. Their ratio of spice to apple is superb, the filling delectably moist and the crust still so impossibly flaky. Hahah! I did not realize how awfully I, too, have missed the comforts of Aerea. I believe I will take that flight now, and finish writing once I have had the chance to spread my wings.
It was quite a lovely evening, in truth. We chased one another through the canopy before taking to soar on a pleasant breeze. I was careful not to exhaust Polaris, though I doubt I could come close. I would still prefer she has plenty of energy, should you have a need for her aid. She is both as feisty and as affectionate as ever; she must find it terribly funny to hover just above me and delicately pluck a single feather from my crown. I swear that bird can and does laugh.
With regards to my condition: Joshua has said that his form changed once more after a subsequent exposure to the spores that rendered me vampiric. While I cannot, at the moment, imagine a creature more wretched to be, I am hesitant to tempt fate and return to the fungi. At the risk of placing too much on your shoulders, what do you think I should do? I do not ask so that I may place blame on you should things go wrong, but because I value your insight. You may refuse advising me on the matter, if it makes you more comfortable.
Gratefully either way,
Kiera
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Date: 2025-05-27 05:13 am (UTC)You say that, but you have made strides of your own. You have accepted your name and place with our family again. You have opened up to people, and you are no longer hiding who you are. These are all good things. That said, I will not pretend I would not be better at ease should you put down the bottle, but I also understand that it is a difficult ask.
An apple pie is nothing without its cinnamon, never mind the fact that a sour apple makes it all the better. Few people seem to understand this, anymore. I have done my best to educate the people in this world, but Renova is another story.
I am glad you two enjoyed yourselves. Polaris seemed in particularly high spirits when she returned. I suspect you could have gone longer and she still would have had plenty to spare, but I appreciate your consideration all the same.
And yes, she absolutely does laugh.
It's... difficult. I would not wish for you to suffer additionally. And though you say you will not blame me, I can certainly blame myself. That said... I think it is worth the attempt. If it could even lessen your suffering, I would appreciate it.
And really, I do miss your embrace. Is that too selfish?
Wishing you the best,
Luca
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Date: 2025-06-03 03:02 am (UTC)Get comfortable. I'm not letting go for a while.
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Date: 2025-06-03 03:08 am (UTC)Leave him alone, he missed her.]
K-Kiera... [A huff.] Can we at least move inside. Beasts forbid someone see you have an emotion.
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Date: 2025-06-03 03:21 am (UTC)despite his tears and the shakiness of his voice, they can't help a gentle laugh.]
If you're that worried about me, alright. [they could jab that he's showing more emotion than they are right now, but decide against it in favor of nudging him inside.]
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Date: 2025-06-03 03:55 am (UTC)[A huff as he all but wrenches her into the bar. Yes, he's locking the door behind him. Service can wait an hour or two.]
How do you feel? Are you hungry? I... imagine it's been awhile since you've consumed anything, even with your, ah. Offering.
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Date: 2025-06-03 04:02 am (UTC)... I'm fucking starved, Luc. I felt myself losing my grip again, but I didn't... I couldn't...
[they shake their head and sigh wearily.]
Yes, I could eat. Phoenix feathers, I miss food.
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Date: 2025-06-03 04:06 am (UTC)[Surviving off of only one voluntarily received offering of blood sounds like a hell of an accomplishment to Luca.]
Food, then. I have the usual stew on, and some bread. Or I can cook something, if you would prefer it. [He knows they're not the fondest of red meat, after all.] Chicken and rice, perhaps?
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Date: 2025-06-03 04:29 am (UTC)Bread would suffice. You don't need to trouble yourself, but perhaps for some butter and herbs...?
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Date: 2025-06-03 04:34 am (UTC)[The whore devours some Hors d'oeuvres. Or something.
Anyway, he heads to the kitchen, pulling out both bread, butter, and herbs as requested. He brings these out to Kiera before dipping back into the kitchen. He makes sure he angles himself to at least be able to hear her if she talks, all while prepping some chicken and vegetables.]
It'll be a minute before something proper is ready, so eat up.
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Date: 2025-06-03 05:05 am (UTC)You don't have to do that, Luc. [but nonetheless:] Thank you.
[sorry, she is now going to go apeshit on this bread. please don't judge her, she hasn't eaten in a month. in fact, luca better not peek out of the kitchen, because there are most definitely tears streaming down her face.]
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Date: 2025-06-03 05:10 am (UTC)If he's a little heavy handed on the spices, so be it. Especially on the garlic. She deserves all of that and more.
Once he's done and the chicken is set to roast, he makes a show of washing his hands and clearing his throat. That way, his leaving doesn't take her by surprise. Plenty of time for her to wipe her tears.]
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Date: 2025-06-03 05:17 am (UTC)I'm -- sorry. I ought to have left you some.
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Date: 2025-06-03 05:20 am (UTC)I ate not too long ago. And I wouldn't take food from a poor, starving thing like you.
[A playful little nudge.]
Feel better?
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Date: 2025-06-03 05:37 am (UTC)I feel... like a child again. Taken in and nursed back to health by a warm-hearted Aurelius.
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Date: 2025-06-03 07:34 pm (UTC)[He squeezes a little closer, then lays his head on her shoulder.]
Besides, you've done a fair bit of caretaking for me, of late.
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Date: 2025-06-03 07:43 pm (UTC)[of more than one flavor, even, but kiera will fight to hold on to the positive one.]
Have I? I don't feel it. Seems you've put yourself back together while I sat useless.
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Date: 2025-06-03 08:46 pm (UTC)It had been years since I had done that. I thought I'd forgotten how. But you didn't let me.
It was a turning point, I think.
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Date: 2025-06-03 08:51 pm (UTC)I... didn't realize it had meant so much to you. [it was a little humiliating, how much they'd bared themself to everyone present at the time. there's something reassuring in luca sharing their sentiment, though.]
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Date: 2025-06-03 08:58 pm (UTC)[He shrugs.]
You would have found another way, I'm sure. But I'm glad it happened sooner, rather than later.
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Date: 2025-06-03 09:26 pm (UTC)[she is so terrible at being genuine, but by gods, she is trying.]
... As do I. I don't know what I would do without you.
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Date: 2025-06-03 09:31 pm (UTC)[It had taken months. Years even. But he was finally where he needed to be. And he wasn't leaving this time, either.]
But we don't need to think about all of that, do we? Plenty more we could prattle on about.
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Date: 2025-06-03 09:48 pm (UTC)[they stare down at their empty plate, the concept of prattling on inevitably turning back to dark thoughts. they shouldn't burden luca with this, but...]
... I've never told you about the first time I tasted bread.
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Date: 2025-06-04 12:17 am (UTC)[But it is, and Luca already knows to sober up. He turns his full attention to her, quips dying down. He's the picture of seriousness and focus.]
What happened?
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Date: 2025-06-04 02:40 am (UTC)I was practicing my camouflage, as it were. Ended up in the servants' quarters, close to their kitchens. There was -- the most beautiful smell I'd ever experienced, coming from that place. One of the cook's children... didn't realize who I was. Said I looked starved, and offered me a single piece of flatbread.
[their eyes close.]
I can still taste the caraway seed, still smell the oils of freshly chopped coriander and garlic. I can feel the clarified butter in my mouth. It... was the single best thing I have ever tasted, to this day.
[they sigh, deep and suffering, and find themself looking around the table for a bottle of spirits that isn't there.]
My mother found out. Looking back, I know now she could smell it on me. She had the servant child brought in front of the entire court and ordered me to... to consume what I was meant to consume.
... You know the rest.
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Date: 2025-06-04 02:45 am (UTC)Only guess. Which means he doesn't expect where the story winds up. He knows the child she describes, only from Even if only from Kiera's own memories. It makes his stomach churn angrily.]
If I ever meet her... [He doesn't finish the sentence, knowing far too well how upset Kiera would get at the mere idea.]
I'm sorry. The things she put you through, the way she warped you... cruel is too light of a word.
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Date: 2025-06-04 02:57 am (UTC)I will pray every day, to the end of my days, that you never do, Luca.
[she tries to resist, she really does, but she can't help it. she needs a drink. as she stands up to fetch the closest bottle of hard stuff, she shakes her head.]
I must be the most selfish person on this or any planet, to be so glad to be here instead of there. How many of my brothers and sisters, my nieces and nephews, still suffer under her vicious reign? I know for a fact that each and every human in Castilla does. And all I can think in this moment is... how lucky I am, to be worlds away from that devil.
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Date: 2025-06-04 03:01 am (UTC)[Truthfully, Luca is happier too, especially knowing that things had settled down back home. More comforting still is that time hadn't passed until he'd returned. It left him... optimistic that Aquila wasn't actively missing him in the moment.]
Say we do go home one day. Would you want to stop it? Do anything about what's been happening there?
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Date: 2025-06-04 05:38 am (UTC)... As I said. I'm selfish. Even if I -- was brave enough to face her, I'm well aware you would not allow me to do so alone. And I will do everything in my power to ensure she never sees your face.
[it almost feels wrong, to almost outright say that kiera would condemn an entire nation just to save one man. but luca knows what he means to her. she would be foolish to deny it.]
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Date: 2025-06-04 05:44 am (UTC)[Luca should be content to leave things as they are. Renova is at peace, and the Phoenix no longer remained to menace him. But he can't help but think of his newfound power, how it would be the perfect weapon against them.]
You don't worry that they may try to attack us again?
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Date: 2025-06-04 06:16 am (UTC)it's an inevitability. they know this. they have yet to fulfill their duty, and eventually, the empress' patience will run out.]
... I don't want to think about this, Luc. It's -- irrelevant, right now.
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Date: 2025-06-05 03:06 am (UTC)In the end, he just gives a nod.]
I'm sorry for bringing it up.
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Date: 2025-06-05 03:50 am (UTC)[and kiera, as always, is trying to find solace in ignorance at the bottom of a bottle. it almost sours the idea for them entirely, but falls short.]
... I am grateful it isn't starting an argument. I missed you, and that is not how I want to spend our time together.
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Date: 2025-06-05 04:09 am (UTC)[A gentle nudge as he tilts his head into the air, scenting it.]
Dinner should be done soon.
[He excuses himself politely as he goes to check on it.]
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Date: 2025-06-05 04:13 am (UTC)[they do feel a bit of guilt, as he walks away. they're the one who broached the subject of that bitch in the first place, after all.
before they do anything else, they knock back that second glass and recork the liquor bottle.]
... May I help at all?
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Date: 2025-06-05 04:16 am (UTC)[He chirps it to Kiera as he enters the kitchen. There's a bit of clamoring around, but eventually he comes out with a plate of chicken and roasted broccoli.]
Adequate?
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Date: 2025-06-05 04:35 am (UTC)More than. I love you, brother. Thank you.
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Date: 2025-06-05 04:37 am (UTC)[He sets their plates down, then takes his seat beside her. Rather than digging right in, he claps her on the shoulder.]
Dig in.
sometime in late may
Date: 2025-06-01 03:39 pm (UTC)But the reality of his situation eventually settles in on him, and one evening, the silence of being alone in a house meant for many is too much to bear. So, out he goes.
He's different than the last time he'd stepped into the bar. A werefox now, rather than a vampire, so the click of low leather heels is replaced by the silence of paw pads. Despite the orange fur and the fox snout that have changed his face, his hair is rather unmistakable, though his ears are limp and folded back rather than perked and alert and his tail hangs motionless behind him.
The first thing he does is find Luca. Because Founder, does he need the company of someone he knows. But also-- ]
... might I have a bowl of stew? Please.
[ --he hasn't eaten in Founder knows when, and he's feeling it. ]
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Date: 2025-06-03 12:40 am (UTC)The changes Joshua displays are different, but not too alarming, considering Luca's had a month to get used to these strange transformations. If anything, he feels guilty for how easy it is to read Joshua's mood.
But he doesn't say anything right away. He gives a nod to Joshua before heading to the pot. He ladles out a decent helping — not too large and overwhelming, but not too small, either — all while making sure no carrots make it through. It's slid across the bar to the other man, and quickly joined by a glass of water.]
You don't have to ask. [Luca chews on his cheek for a few seconds, contemplating asking after him. He's pretty sure he knows the answers to whatever questions he may ask, though, which leaves him instead settling for:]
I'm glad you're here.
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Date: 2025-06-03 01:15 am (UTC)When you feel lost and unmoored, what more could you want than that? ]
Thank you.
[ But for all that he hasn't eaten, he doesn't take a bite of the stew right away. He lifts the spoon in his hand, yes, but more to push at the bits of vegetable and meat floating in the broth. Soon. But not yet. ]
And I am glad that you are here. It is... comforting to know that I have a place to go.
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Date: 2025-06-03 01:24 am (UTC)You will always have a place here.
[Not just because it's his business, and he'll always be taking money. No, Joshua is one of the most dear people he has here at this point. He wouldn't let the man go through this alone. He'd taken a step back, yielding to Dion after Clive's disappearance, especially in the wake of his own grief and the fallout of it all, but not this time.
Which... does bring a question to mind.]
Where are you staying, currently?
[The house, once so full of life and love, seems so much emptier now. Were Luca in his shoes, he doubted he could stomach staying.]
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Date: 2025-06-03 01:37 am (UTC)Thank you. I am glad to hear it.
[ Glad enough that he finally does scoop up a spoonful of stew. He blows on it lightly, knowing that to fail to do so will scald his mouth, and then places it in his mouth. And he will politely chew and swallow it before replying. ]
I am still in the house. It would feel... awkward, perhaps, to stay elsewhere, all things considered. Torgal is there, and I have Ambrosia in the attached stable.
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Date: 2025-06-03 03:09 am (UTC)For now, though, he quirks a brow at Joshua.]
I don't suppose you are up for company? I suspect it may be rather lonely in that large house, and I would not want you to suffer on your lonesome. [A beat.] Or rather, without human company.
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Date: 2025-06-03 03:20 am (UTC)I... suppose it does get a bit lonely. I've taken to wearing my brother's bone ring just to have someone to talk to when I'm not at the clinic.
[ Maybe it's a bit of a strange thing to admit, but. Well. It's the truth. At least he can talk to the animals of the house. ]
But of course. You are welcome to come by whenever you wish.
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Date: 2025-06-03 03:54 am (UTC)[The Watchtower is comforting, but he can be without it for a few nights. For Joshua's sake.]
I'm glad you've had someone to communicate with. But a little more company never hurt anyone, especially in a time like this.
[He leans in, just a little. And if he just so happens to idly tap Joshua's water glass as a reminder, so be it.]
Would it be acceptable for me to slip in after I finish up this evening?
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Date: 2025-06-03 04:06 am (UTC)I will never turn down the extra company. And I'm sure that Torgal would be glad to see you, as well.
[ Look, he's even taking a sip! But it really is helping. ]
So long as you don't mind the books scattered everywhere. Our library investigation is still ongoing.
[ Despite it all. ]
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Date: 2025-06-03 04:22 am (UTC)[Maybe Luca's avoided him a little. Torgal's a good dog, but there are parts of him that so vividly remind him of Clive that it's been difficult to swallow.
He'll deal with that later. For now, he offers a smile for Joshua's efforts.]
Maybe I can even give them a look over. If there's something to be learned, a fresh pair of eyes may be able to track it down.
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Date: 2025-06-03 10:33 pm (UTC)I would like that. Help is greatly appreciated. Founder knows I have spent far too long looking over them, and it is quite possible something has gone overlooked.
[ More of the water. And then, more of the stew. Now that he has it all in front of him, it's like his body is moving on autopilot. ]
I've begun a journal of notes, if you would like to contribute your findings.
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Date: 2025-06-04 12:24 am (UTC)Fresh eyes have never been a burden on anyone. [He watches Joshua's movements, but doesn't try to draw too much attention to it. He won't make a big deal of doing the bare minimum, not if it could just as easily fluster Joshua.]
I'd like to take a look at the journal first, if you wouldn't mind? Best to see what you have established thus far.
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Date: 2025-06-05 01:55 am (UTC)[ A lot of detail... Including what he'd found out at the library. He hasn't told anyone about that part yet. Admittedly, he's had a lot more on his mind lately. ]
We could make a night of it, if you like. I'm certain I have something around that we could eat, and I could make a pot of tea.
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Date: 2025-06-05 03:11 am (UTC)[He and Joshua are a lot alike. He has no doubt that the journals he's kept are chock full of valuable information.
A smile passes over Luca, despite the gravity of what they're talking about. He gives a nod.]
I would like that. Very much so.
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Date: 2025-06-05 03:37 am (UTC)Joshua finds himself eagerly anticipating it, and the thumping of his tail grows just a bit stronger as he consumes more of the stew. ]
Well, then, I suppose once I'm finished eating, I should return to the house to prepare. The books could do with a bit of organizing anyway. How long until you close for the evening?
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Date: 2025-06-05 03:42 am (UTC)I try to stay open until two each evening, but I think there are plenty of hands on deck to keep things running should I leave early. How long do you need to prepare?
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Date: 2025-06-05 03:56 am (UTC)Well... Not long, truly. I had offered simply to give you the time to finish your night here without my constant company, but if you would like to leave early, I could do what I'd intended to do once we return. As long as you don't mind, of course.
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Date: 2025-06-05 04:12 am (UTC)[Better to not leave Joshua alone. Luca will only worry for whatever arbitrary length of time he chooses to stay, anyway.]
Let me finish a few things up here, and then I'll be along?
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Date: 2025-06-09 01:49 am (UTC)Ah. Of course. While you finish up, I will finish my stew, and then we can leave together. Is that all right?
[ Though he's sure he already knows the answer. ]
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Date: 2025-06-10 12:59 am (UTC)[Luca offers one last warm smile, before puttering off to do whatever it is that needs doing. Mostly dishes and a bit of sweeping. He gives a few abandoned tables a good clean while he's at it too, just so there's plenty of seats for the rest of the evening.
It's busy work, but he gets it done quick enough. Better to not keep poor Joshua waiting.]
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Date: 2025-06-10 01:19 am (UTC)[ He returns the smile, then turns back to his meal.
It's perfectly fine by Joshua if Luca wants to take his time, though. He needs food, and he needs water. Tea is liquid, but it isn't entirely the best at hydrating.
So! As Luca goes about his cleaning, Joshua makes good on his plan to finish off his meal. Luckily, it isn't hard to do. It's tasty as always, and filling to boot, and just what his body needed. The bowl is empty within minutes, and by the time Luca finishes up, he's sipping at his water. ]