[Polaris lightly nips their fingers, but as gentle as possible. It's a pleasant little gesture, not an aggravated one.]
Kiera,
I can only imagine how difficult it is. Your upbringing, the "purpose" you were given has haunted you for far too long. I only wish you had been able to hear it from him that he did not hold it against you. All of my words will never compare.
It sounds like a lovely book. Perhaps once you have recovered, I can pay a visit to the library and read it myself. I should like to know what you have enjoyed so much.
I do not think you were neglectful. Truthfully I was... reluctant to talk about it for more than one reason. Zahliya is an incredibly important figure in this world. Strong and capable at that. The last thing I want is for anyone to think ill of him. Or to share his business when he is already going through enough. And... honestly, perhaps I was ashamed to admit the depth of my malice in that moment.
The truth is that I accused both him and you of never caring to do enough about the Phoenix. I wanted to convince myself that neither of you cared enough, so that it was far easier to shove the two of you away. It wasn't fair, and I suppose it is only right that I suffer these consequences.
I - think fishing would be best avoided, though. Callan shares remarkable similarities to Emissary Alazon. It's been a bit... difficult to reconcile. Chess would be nice, though.
I feel the same about our current method of communicating. If I am truly honest, it has been far easier to speak my feelings. It's too easy to become self-conscious with how much I feel, especially hvae I have tried so hard for so long not to feel at all.
... Thank you, by the way. For being so patient with all of that.
Gratefully, Luca Aurelius
P.S. I have missed it so dearly, though.
P.P.S. After everything was said and done back home, I began to consider joining the guard again. Even in a reserve capacity. Do you think you would loathe working with me again?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-05-21 03:25 am (UTC)Kiera,
I can only imagine how difficult it is. Your upbringing, the "purpose" you were given has haunted you for far too long. I only wish you had been able to hear it from him that he did not hold it against you. All of my words will never compare.
It sounds like a lovely book. Perhaps once you have recovered, I can pay a visit to the library and read it myself. I should like to know what you have enjoyed so much.
I do not think you were neglectful. Truthfully I was... reluctant to talk about it for more than one reason. Zahliya is an incredibly important figure in this world. Strong and capable at that. The last thing I want is for anyone to think ill of him. Or to share his business when he is already going through enough. And... honestly, perhaps I was ashamed to admit the depth of my malice in that moment.
The truth is that I accused both him and you of never caring to do enough about the Phoenix. I wanted to convince myself that neither of you cared enough, so that it was far easier to shove the two of you away. It wasn't fair, and I suppose it is only right that I suffer these consequences.
I - think fishing would be best avoided, though. Callan shares remarkable similarities to Emissary Alazon. It's been a bit... difficult to reconcile. Chess would be nice, though.
I feel the same about our current method of communicating. If I am truly honest, it has been far easier to speak my feelings. It's too easy to become self-conscious with how much I feel, especially hvae I have tried so hard for so long not to feel at all.
... Thank you, by the way. For being so patient with all of that.
Gratefully,
Luca Aurelius
P.S. I have missed it so dearly, though.
P.P.S. After everything was said and done back home, I began to consider joining the guard again. Even in a reserve capacity. Do you think you would loathe working with me again?