I understand your reasoning. I suppose I feel that you have made greater strides than I of late, and I confess there is a part of me that has no desire to improve myself. It is quite uncomfortable, physically and mentally, the idea of finding complicated, exhausting alternatives to what is at present quite a simple and easy bandage on the wound.
Their pies are, in fact, what reminded me so vividly of you. Their ratio of spice to apple is superb, the filling delectably moist and the crust still so impossibly flaky. Hahah! I did not realize how awfully I, too, have missed the comforts of Aerea. I believe I will take that flight now, and finish writing once I have had the chance to spread my wings.
It was quite a lovely evening, in truth. We chased one another through the canopy before taking to soar on a pleasant breeze. I was careful not to exhaust Polaris, though I doubt I could come close. I would still prefer she has plenty of energy, should you have a need for her aid. She is both as feisty and as affectionate as ever; she must find it terribly funny to hover just above me and delicately pluck a single feather from my crown. I swear that bird can and does laugh.
With regards to my condition: Joshua has said that his form changed once more after a subsequent exposure to the spores that rendered me vampiric. While I cannot, at the moment, imagine a creature more wretched to be, I am hesitant to tempt fate and return to the fungi. At the risk of placing too much on your shoulders, what do you think I should do? I do not ask so that I may place blame on you should things go wrong, but because I value your insight. You may refuse advising me on the matter, if it makes you more comfortable.
You say that, but you have made strides of your own. You have accepted your name and place with our family again. You have opened up to people, and you are no longer hiding who you are. These are all good things. That said, I will not pretend I would not be better at ease should you put down the bottle, but I also understand that it is a difficult ask.
An apple pie is nothing without its cinnamon, never mind the fact that a sour apple makes it all the better. Few people seem to understand this, anymore. I have done my best to educate the people in this world, but Renova is another story.
I am glad you two enjoyed yourselves. Polaris seemed in particularly high spirits when she returned. I suspect you could have gone longer and she still would have had plenty to spare, but I appreciate your consideration all the same.
And yes, she absolutely does laugh.
It's... difficult. I would not wish for you to suffer additionally. And though you say you will not blame me, I can certainly blame myself. That said... I think it is worth the attempt. If it could even lessen your suffering, I would appreciate it.
And really, I do miss your embrace. Is that too selfish?
[the following morning, there's a knock on the bar door before opening hours. kiera looks less like themself than they did as a vampire, given the opalescent horn on their forehead, the hooves and the long tail, but they are standing here when luca appears with no issue, and that is what matters. they're so relieved to see him, they honestly don't care if it might be concerning for him to see such a wide, unabashedly happy smile on their face before they pull him in for a hug.]
[The only reason Luca is particularly concerned is because Kiera looks exactly like her worst nightmare. Not that he has time to say any of that. He gets tugged in for a hug and, well, if he even tries to shift he's just going to get impaled. So yeah, hugs and honestly? Maybe a tear or two.
Leave him alone, he missed her.]
K-Kiera... [A huff.] Can we at least move inside. Beasts forbid someone see you have an emotion.
[maybe if they had been turned into this before, they would be more upset. maybe they will be more upset, once it settles in. right now? it's like the weight of the whole godsdamned planet has been lifted from their shoulders.
despite his tears and the shakiness of his voice, they can't help a gentle laugh.]
If you're that worried about me, alright. [they could jab that he's showing more emotion than they are right now, but decide against it in favor of nudging him inside.]
[Surviving off of only one voluntarily received offering of blood sounds like a hell of an accomplishment to Luca.]
Food, then. I have the usual stew on, and some bread. Or I can cook something, if you would prefer it. [He knows they're not the fondest of red meat, after all.] Chicken and rice, perhaps?
[to that, they don't respond. drinking anything at all felt like throwing away their conviction of possible decades, a betrayal of self that could not possibly run any deeper. it feels so terrible, in fact, that just as luca surmises, they are in no mindset for red meat.]
Bread would suffice. You don't need to trouble yourself, but perhaps for some butter and herbs...?
[The whore devours some Hors d'oeuvres. Or something.
Anyway, he heads to the kitchen, pulling out both bread, butter, and herbs as requested. He brings these out to Kiera before dipping back into the kitchen. He makes sure he angles himself to at least be able to hear her if she talks, all while prepping some chicken and vegetables.]
It'll be a minute before something proper is ready, so eat up.
[between the sight of the bread and luca making for the kitchen once more, kiera groans with relief.]
You don't have to do that, Luc. [but nonetheless:] Thank you.
[sorry, she is now going to go apeshit on this bread. please don't judge her, she hasn't eaten in a month. in fact, luca better not peek out of the kitchen, because there are most definitely tears streaming down her face.]
[Unfortunately, he does peek out. It just proves that this meal is important for them both. Anything to make sure she's able to feel something again.
If he's a little heavy handed on the spices, so be it. Especially on the garlic. She deserves all of that and more.
Once he's done and the chicken is set to roast, he makes a show of washing his hands and clearing his throat. That way, his leaving doesn't take her by surprise. Plenty of time for her to wipe her tears.]
[the gesture is appreciated, but kiera finds she doesn't have the energy, or desire, to hide this particular display of emotion from luca. if they're self-conscious of anything, it's the fact that there's nothing left in front of them. even the butter dish is wiped clean. their face tinges deeper red at the sight of it.]
You struck the first blow, you know. You and Mamika together, I suppose but... [He trails off. The memory has turned a little bitter, considering who it was all for. But he presses on.] You convinced me to stay my hand. To extend kindness...
It had been years since I had done that. I thought I'd forgotten how. But you didn't let me.
I... didn't realize it had meant so much to you. [it was a little humiliating, how much they'd bared themself to everyone present at the time. there's something reassuring in luca sharing their sentiment, though.]
[they stare down at their empty plate, the concept of prattling on inevitably turning back to dark thoughts. they shouldn't burden luca with this, but...]
... I've never told you about the first time I tasted bread.
[kiera is silent for a long moment, even as it's clear luca recognizes the gravity of the situation. the last thing they want is to make him regret his efforts... but it makes them bittersweet, after all.]
I was practicing my camouflage, as it were. Ended up in the servants' quarters, close to their kitchens. There was -- the most beautiful smell I'd ever experienced, coming from that place. One of the cook's children... didn't realize who I was. Said I looked starved, and offered me a single piece of flatbread.
[their eyes close.]
I can still taste the caraway seed, still smell the oils of freshly chopped coriander and garlic. I can feel the clarified butter in my mouth. It... was the single best thing I have ever tasted, to this day.
[they sigh, deep and suffering, and find themself looking around the table for a bottle of spirits that isn't there.]
My mother found out. Looking back, I know now she could smell it on me. She had the servant child brought in front of the entire court and ordered me to... to consume what I was meant to consume.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Luca,
I understand your reasoning. I suppose I feel that you have made greater strides than I of late, and I confess there is a part of me that has no desire to improve myself. It is quite uncomfortable, physically and mentally, the idea of finding complicated, exhausting alternatives to what is at present quite a simple and easy bandage on the wound.
Their pies are, in fact, what reminded me so vividly of you. Their ratio of spice to apple is superb, the filling delectably moist and the crust still so impossibly flaky. Hahah! I did not realize how awfully I, too, have missed the comforts of Aerea. I believe I will take that flight now, and finish writing once I have had the chance to spread my wings.
It was quite a lovely evening, in truth. We chased one another through the canopy before taking to soar on a pleasant breeze. I was careful not to exhaust Polaris, though I doubt I could come close. I would still prefer she has plenty of energy, should you have a need for her aid. She is both as feisty and as affectionate as ever; she must find it terribly funny to hover just above me and delicately pluck a single feather from my crown. I swear that bird can and does laugh.
With regards to my condition: Joshua has said that his form changed once more after a subsequent exposure to the spores that rendered me vampiric. While I cannot, at the moment, imagine a creature more wretched to be, I am hesitant to tempt fate and return to the fungi. At the risk of placing too much on your shoulders, what do you think I should do? I do not ask so that I may place blame on you should things go wrong, but because I value your insight. You may refuse advising me on the matter, if it makes you more comfortable.
Gratefully either way,
Kiera
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You say that, but you have made strides of your own. You have accepted your name and place with our family again. You have opened up to people, and you are no longer hiding who you are. These are all good things. That said, I will not pretend I would not be better at ease should you put down the bottle, but I also understand that it is a difficult ask.
An apple pie is nothing without its cinnamon, never mind the fact that a sour apple makes it all the better. Few people seem to understand this, anymore. I have done my best to educate the people in this world, but Renova is another story.
I am glad you two enjoyed yourselves. Polaris seemed in particularly high spirits when she returned. I suspect you could have gone longer and she still would have had plenty to spare, but I appreciate your consideration all the same.
And yes, she absolutely does laugh.
It's... difficult. I would not wish for you to suffer additionally. And though you say you will not blame me, I can certainly blame myself. That said... I think it is worth the attempt. If it could even lessen your suffering, I would appreciate it.
And really, I do miss your embrace. Is that too selfish?
Wishing you the best,
Luca
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Get comfortable. I'm not letting go for a while.
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Leave him alone, he missed her.]
K-Kiera... [A huff.] Can we at least move inside. Beasts forbid someone see you have an emotion.
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despite his tears and the shakiness of his voice, they can't help a gentle laugh.]
If you're that worried about me, alright. [they could jab that he's showing more emotion than they are right now, but decide against it in favor of nudging him inside.]
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[A huff as he all but wrenches her into the bar. Yes, he's locking the door behind him. Service can wait an hour or two.]
How do you feel? Are you hungry? I... imagine it's been awhile since you've consumed anything, even with your, ah. Offering.
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... I'm fucking starved, Luc. I felt myself losing my grip again, but I didn't... I couldn't...
[they shake their head and sigh wearily.]
Yes, I could eat. Phoenix feathers, I miss food.
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[Surviving off of only one voluntarily received offering of blood sounds like a hell of an accomplishment to Luca.]
Food, then. I have the usual stew on, and some bread. Or I can cook something, if you would prefer it. [He knows they're not the fondest of red meat, after all.] Chicken and rice, perhaps?
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Bread would suffice. You don't need to trouble yourself, but perhaps for some butter and herbs...?
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[The whore devours some Hors d'oeuvres. Or something.
Anyway, he heads to the kitchen, pulling out both bread, butter, and herbs as requested. He brings these out to Kiera before dipping back into the kitchen. He makes sure he angles himself to at least be able to hear her if she talks, all while prepping some chicken and vegetables.]
It'll be a minute before something proper is ready, so eat up.
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You don't have to do that, Luc. [but nonetheless:] Thank you.
[sorry, she is now going to go apeshit on this bread. please don't judge her, she hasn't eaten in a month. in fact, luca better not peek out of the kitchen, because there are most definitely tears streaming down her face.]
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If he's a little heavy handed on the spices, so be it. Especially on the garlic. She deserves all of that and more.
Once he's done and the chicken is set to roast, he makes a show of washing his hands and clearing his throat. That way, his leaving doesn't take her by surprise. Plenty of time for her to wipe her tears.]
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I'm -- sorry. I ought to have left you some.
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I ate not too long ago. And I wouldn't take food from a poor, starving thing like you.
[A playful little nudge.]
Feel better?
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I feel... like a child again. Taken in and nursed back to health by a warm-hearted Aurelius.
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[He squeezes a little closer, then lays his head on her shoulder.]
Besides, you've done a fair bit of caretaking for me, of late.
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[of more than one flavor, even, but kiera will fight to hold on to the positive one.]
Have I? I don't feel it. Seems you've put yourself back together while I sat useless.
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It had been years since I had done that. I thought I'd forgotten how. But you didn't let me.
It was a turning point, I think.
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I... didn't realize it had meant so much to you. [it was a little humiliating, how much they'd bared themself to everyone present at the time. there's something reassuring in luca sharing their sentiment, though.]
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[He shrugs.]
You would have found another way, I'm sure. But I'm glad it happened sooner, rather than later.
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[she is so terrible at being genuine, but by gods, she is trying.]
... As do I. I don't know what I would do without you.
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[It had taken months. Years even. But he was finally where he needed to be. And he wasn't leaving this time, either.]
But we don't need to think about all of that, do we? Plenty more we could prattle on about.
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[they stare down at their empty plate, the concept of prattling on inevitably turning back to dark thoughts. they shouldn't burden luca with this, but...]
... I've never told you about the first time I tasted bread.
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[But it is, and Luca already knows to sober up. He turns his full attention to her, quips dying down. He's the picture of seriousness and focus.]
What happened?
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I was practicing my camouflage, as it were. Ended up in the servants' quarters, close to their kitchens. There was -- the most beautiful smell I'd ever experienced, coming from that place. One of the cook's children... didn't realize who I was. Said I looked starved, and offered me a single piece of flatbread.
[their eyes close.]
I can still taste the caraway seed, still smell the oils of freshly chopped coriander and garlic. I can feel the clarified butter in my mouth. It... was the single best thing I have ever tasted, to this day.
[they sigh, deep and suffering, and find themself looking around the table for a bottle of spirits that isn't there.]
My mother found out. Looking back, I know now she could smell it on me. She had the servant child brought in front of the entire court and ordered me to... to consume what I was meant to consume.
... You know the rest.
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