[kiera fully expects to see singed edges on the letter. in fact, she wonders how many pages luca would have fully incinerated before he was able to calm his (entirely understandable) temper. her curiosity is best left unspoken, however.]
Luc,
I would that you never knew such despair. I will admit, when I first came to Renova, I felt both terrible jealousy and disdain for you. As far as I allowed myself to believe, you had never known hardship, you were impossibly naïve, and the entire world had been handed to you on a silver platter. But unlike those I had spent my earliest years surrounded by, you were glad to share in your wealth of both status and spirit, and I came to realize what a fool I was to resent your good fortune.
I wish that I could have kept you from this pain forever. I feel that I failed you. I am aware that there is nothing I could have done at the time to prevent the Beast from scorning you, or to dissuade Augustus from allowing his blackened heart to rule his judgment. I am aware that Castilla's and Cataega's agents will never stop seeking to harm us until we put them down.
To that end, I do not know why I am telling you this. My intent is not to add more guilt to that which already weighs upon you. Perhaps I feel I do not deserve your forgiveness, nor your acceptance. Maybe I would feel differently, had I the same memories of home that you do. From my perspective, I have done next to nothing to aid you, and it feels horrid to take credit for efforts I do not recall making.
Still, I am moved by your sentiment, even if the last thing I would ever want is for you to fall victim to the Monster of my birthplace. Though I should like to think that with your power being what it is now, that scenario is entirely impossible.
I would be glad to help, when the time comes. Far be it from me to wish death upon you, but I think it would be crueler still to suggest that you do not deserve rest after all is said and done. That said, I will under no circumstances allow you to expire before the age of one hundred, and in that I feel I am being quite generous.
We will have many, many years ahead of terrorizing our fellow Guardsmen once more, Ser Aurelius.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-05-21 03:58 pm (UTC)Luc,
I would that you never knew such despair. I will admit, when I first came to Renova, I felt both terrible jealousy and disdain for you. As far as I allowed myself to believe, you had never known hardship, you were impossibly naïve, and the entire world had been handed to you on a silver platter. But unlike those I had spent my earliest years surrounded by, you were glad to share in your wealth of both status and spirit, and I came to realize what a fool I was to resent your good fortune.
I wish that I could have kept you from this pain forever. I feel that I failed you. I am aware that there is nothing I could have done at the time to prevent the Beast from scorning you, or to dissuade Augustus from allowing his blackened heart to rule his judgment. I am aware that Castilla's and Cataega's agents will never stop seeking to harm us until we put them down.
To that end, I do not know why I am telling you this. My intent is not to add more guilt to that which already weighs upon you. Perhaps I feel I do not deserve your forgiveness, nor your acceptance. Maybe I would feel differently, had I the same memories of home that you do. From my perspective, I have done next to nothing to aid you, and it feels horrid to take credit for efforts I do not recall making.
Still, I am moved by your sentiment, even if the last thing I would ever want is for you to fall victim to the Monster of my birthplace. Though I should like to think that with your power being what it is now, that scenario is entirely impossible.
I would be glad to help, when the time comes. Far be it from me to wish death upon you, but I think it would be crueler still to suggest that you do not deserve rest after all is said and done. That said, I will under no circumstances allow you to expire before the age of one hundred, and in that I feel I am being quite generous.
We will have many, many years ahead of terrorizing our fellow Guardsmen once more, Ser Aurelius.
Also with love,
Ki