Truth be told, I have known in my heart since then that he would have accepted me. There was always the fear of rejection, but he was not that sort of man, nor that sort of parent. My greatest regret is that I simply lacked the bravery to be honest with him, to give him the chance to prove his virtue, before it was too late. Perhaps, like you with Zahliya, I believed that I deserved to live in that pain.
Hah. It is pitiful how alike we still are, even after so much has changed.
I feel I should give you as much honesty as you have offered me. Last year, when we were trapped beneath the ocean, the Phoenix spoke to me through your body. I made a deal with the Beast that when we returned home, I would volunteer myself as its new host so that it would leave you be. I don't know if such a thing is even possible, but it agreed, and so I believed I was helping. Underhanded, yes. Behind your back, yes. I was afraid to tell you, because I know you would never approve of such self-destructive methods, and I did not know how else to ease your pain.
I swear to you, Luca, if I had known that it was possible to kill a Beast, I would have fought the wretch to my last breath. I would have made more blatant efforts had I been aware of any other recourse. I don't fault you your resentment of me, but still I beg your forgiveness.
You are everything to me. I will never give up on you, no matter the pain it brings me or the time I spend waiting on you.
If you will still have me, despite all of this, I would ask for nothing more than the chance to remain at your side.
no subject
Truth be told, I have known in my heart since then that he would have accepted me. There was always the fear of rejection, but he was not that sort of man, nor that sort of parent. My greatest regret is that I simply lacked the bravery to be honest with him, to give him the chance to prove his virtue, before it was too late. Perhaps, like you with Zahliya, I believed that I deserved to live in that pain.
Hah. It is pitiful how alike we still are, even after so much has changed.
I feel I should give you as much honesty as you have offered me. Last year, when we were trapped beneath the ocean, the Phoenix spoke to me through your body. I made a deal with the Beast that when we returned home, I would volunteer myself as its new host so that it would leave you be. I don't know if such a thing is even possible, but it agreed, and so I believed I was helping. Underhanded, yes. Behind your back, yes. I was afraid to tell you, because I know you would never approve of such self-destructive methods, and I did not know how else to ease your pain.
I swear to you, Luca, if I had known that it was possible to kill a Beast, I would have fought the wretch to my last breath. I would have made more blatant efforts had I been aware of any other recourse. I don't fault you your resentment of me, but still I beg your forgiveness.
You are everything to me. I will never give up on you, no matter the pain it brings me or the time I spend waiting on you.
If you will still have me, despite all of this, I would ask for nothing more than the chance to remain at your side.
Kiera